Bloke behaviour

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Hehe, you're telling me. No wonder it was like that for so long, men were just riding the wave waiting for women to wise up!

 

The constant cliche that men want to watch 'the game' bugs me.

I don't. Not now, not for a good few years.

 

I think it's the way we explain things. Men get to the point. Women take forever to say the same thing. As an example, here's how I would describe my actions of the last 5 minutes:

I saw Barmy's post.
I read it, and all of the replies.
I responded with my comment.

Here's how my wife would describe it:

I saw Barmy's post. You remember Barmy, don't you? He's that nice Biritsh chap that is always talking about his favorite football team. I don't know why they call it football in Europe and soccer in America. Don't you think that's strange? I mean football was already the term used in Europe when they started playing football in the US, so I really think that Americans should use a different name, because football was already taken instead of creating the term soccer. That reminds me of a book I was reading a few months back...

 

Too true!

Going off that same point, men are problem solvers. If you come to a man and complain about something, expect to get a solution. Women are listeners and consolers. If you need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, but don't want a solution to fix the problem, go to a woman.

 

Definitely. Women send out enough pointless yapper to bring down a battleship.

Man telephone conversation:

Man1: Hello?

Man2: Alright Dave, it's John

Man1: Alright John, what's up?

Man2: Fancy pub mate? 7.30?

Man1: Yeah man, cool, cya then

Man2: Sound, cya

Done, end of conversation. A man telephone conversation lasts 2 minutes, max. Women chatter on forever!

 

That's the truth. Any time my gf calls me its at least a 15 minute convo...even though i've said everything I wanted to or needed to within the first 2 minutes. The rest is her talking about random **** that makes no sense to me

 

Generalisation of the year.

I personally hate the phone and I only call people to arrange practical matters. I only communicate the necessary stuff through the phone, the rest we can talk about when we meet up. I'm pretty sure most of my calls last no longer than a minute. I generally have the same policy with regard to text messages...maximum efficiency. Though text messages may be sent to enquire about less essential things from time to time.

I'll grant you that most of my girl friends are more into blabbing on the phone.

You'll find that not all women are consolers and not all men are problem-solvers...pick your consoling woman wisely. Don't pick me.

 

Heh, count me as another gal that does not like chattering on the phone. Drives my friends nuts. As I tell them, if they wanna chat, we'll meet for dinner. Phones suck.

 

Longest telephone conversation I've ever had: 10 min.
Shortest telephone conversation my mother ever had: half an hour

 

Even though the phone thing is true, I talk a lot on the phone too, though I fancy that I'm much more brisk and to the point:
Me: "Hello?"
Dad: "I'm leaving now. Meet me in five minutes."
Me: "Okay. Bye."

Now, the same conversation, from my perspective (as I don't know what my girlfriend's dad says)
Girlfriend: "Hello?"
"Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Have you seen grandad?"
"Oh, did I tell you...they have a special on at the Warehouse! Slippers for NINE DOLLARS!"
"... ... ...oh yep. Oh, by the way, guess what Zoey did today?"
"Yep! She did! And it was sooooo cute. Um, at uni today? We did this experiment, and ... ... ..."
"... ... ..."
(at this point I start glaring at her)
"...okay, I gotta go. Bye!"

The main problem seems to me to be unrelated linkage of unimportant topics. By the way, the toilet seat thing is completly unfair. Why should men have to put it down? It's unfair that men should have to put it up AND down! 'tis sexism, I say!

 

Longest telephone conversation I've ever had: 7 hours

 

I think I must have a male brain - either that or borderline Asperger's. I actually hate phoning people at all. I don't have long conversations - I say what's needed and then go. I don't own a mobile and don't want one. And it really bugs me when my boyfriend is constantly checking his texts. FFS, if you're spending time with someone, then leave your bloody mobile in your pocket.
And the long gaming sessions? Oh yeah. But then I'm a former games journalist so what do you expect?

 

I'm female, and yet:
-Long gaming sessions - absolutely, for hours and hours, all night sometimes.
-My phone needs dusting.

An addition to Barmy's list: Cars and engines.

-My brother spends hours around his car, and knows every brand and model we meet while driving. Me? There are square cars, and cars with round edges, in many different colors.

 

And they go 'broom broom'! See, I know cars!

 

In out household, it was so the idiot cat we had would not fall in, then run around the house in a panic soaking everything.

There was one time my husband forgot, and I had to go in the middle of the night. My scream as my rear hit cold water was quite a deterrent to him ever forgetting again.

 

oh yeah, the first time you here the female wet butt scream you will swear that the grim reaper just walked over your soon-to-be gravesite(make a man jump straight up in the bed looking around wildly)

 

I've always avoided the toilet seat debate by sitting to pee.

I'm 100% accurate when I sit and only about 75% accurate (give or take) when I stand(especially with the initial stream).

I can't understand why more men don't sit to do their business...maybe they're more accurate than myself and don't need such a handicap.

 

I'm a real deadeye d**k when it comes to peeing.

 

Only 75% accurate. We should be 100% accurate - its not like it's hard to aim!

Unless your're drunk, then of course it's a different matter!

 

Sometimes you expect a straight stream and for some odd reason it deflects in a random direction! I hate that.

You never hear of adult men being so tired that they accidentally pee on a toillet with the lid down. On that basis, I don't buy this feminist whining about being so tired that they forget to put the seat down. It's just another tool in the man-hating arsenal.