1. SPS Accounts:
    Do you find yourself coming back time after time? Do you appreciate the ongoing hard work to keep this community focused and successful in its mission? Please consider supporting us by upgrading to an SPS Account. Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from supporting a good cause, you'll also get a significant number of ever-expanding perks and benefits on the site and the forums. Click here to find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
You are currently viewing Boards o' Magick as a guest, but you can register an account here. Registration is fast, easy and free. Once registered you will have access to search the forums, create and respond to threads, PM other members, upload screenshots and access many other features unavailable to guests.

BoM cultivates a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. We have been aiming for quality over quantity with our forums from their inception, and believe that this distinction is truly tangible and valued by our members. We'd love to have you join us today!

(If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. If you've forgotten your username or password, click here.)

Xmas jokes

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Chas, Dec 21, 2007.

  1. Chas Gems: 14/31
    Latest gem: Chrysoberyl


    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    634
    Likes Received:
    1
    I saw this in the news:



    Britain's worst Xmas cracker joke

    Britons have been voting in a new survey to find the nation's worst Christmas cracker joke.

    And the winner was: What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

    University of Sheffield's Professor of Linguistics Professor Andrew Linn commented: "The essence of a fine joke is clever and original use of language, often exploiting some sort of ambiguity.

    "This joke has been voted the worst Christmas cracker joke because it is almost too clever. It uses ambiguity in how the words are put together (deep (p)an') as well as contextual ambiguity (pizzas and a Christmas carol). In short, once you get it, it's a real groaner!"

    But even though the gag was voted worst overall, it divided the nation with many voting it their favourite.

    More than 200 people picked their worst and favourite cracker jokes from a list of 50 in the poll for Nuts magazine.

    Nuts jokes editor Adam Ralph said: "The gags in crackers are normally so bad that everyone laughs at the stupidity of them. That's what brings everyone together and it would almost be a shame if manufactures tried to make them too clever."

    The Top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes were:

    1) What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that's deep pan, crisp and even

    2) On which side do chickens have most feathers? On the outside

    3) What kind of paper likes music? (W)rapping paper

    4) What's white and goes up? A confused snowflake

    5) What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette

    6) Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away.

    7) What's furry and minty? A polo bear

    8) How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle

    9) Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!

    10) What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost



    I am not british so I did learn that Christmas crackers are cookies that are a tradition at Christmas and have something like a chinese fortune in them. I als found out that a polo is a brand name for a mint in Briton so I understand joke #7.

    But I cannot figure out WTF #1 means :rolleyes:
    Please explain.
     
  2. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2003
    Messages:
    6,815
    Media:
    6
    Likes Received:
    336
    It's a play on the second line of the Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas":

    Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen,
    When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even


    That's pretty lame, even by my standards.
     
  3. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

    Joined:
    May 26, 2003
    Messages:
    6,586
    Media:
    2
    Likes Received:
    162
    Who told you that? Whoever it was, wasn't British! It's not true at all.
     
  4. Acrux Gems: 8/31
    Latest gem: Skydrop


    Veteran

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm not British, but even I know what a Christmas cracker is (it helps to be an Anglophile). My wife and I bought a few last year.

    I personally liked the joke -- I'll have to see if there's anyone around I can try it out on. :p
     
  5. Stu Gems: 20/31
    Latest gem: Garnet


    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2003
    Messages:
    1,206
    Likes Received:
    5
    Wikipedia article on Christmas crackers (or Bon Bon's as we occasionally call em down here).
    Nice spotting Splunge! I had no idea...only knowing the chorus of Good King Wenceslas probably didn't help :(
     
  6. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2003
    Messages:
    6,815
    Media:
    6
    Likes Received:
    336
    Actually, I didn't get it at first either. Had to do some sleuthing...
     
Sorcerer's Place is a project run entirely by fans and for fans. Maintaining Sorcerer's Place and a stable environment for all our hosted sites requires a substantial amount of our time and funds on a regular basis, so please consider supporting us to keep the site up & running smoothly. Thank you!

Sorcerers.net is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to products on amazon.com, amazon.ca and amazon.co.uk. Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates.