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Truths of Life

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by el timtor, Jan 20, 2005.

  1. el timtor Gems: 13/31
    Latest gem: Ziose


    Veteran

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    Some Truths of Life:

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

    Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    AND THE # 1 THOUGHT:
    Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). At Blockbuster you're two days late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigration...
     
  2. Gnarfflinger

    Gnarfflinger Wiseguy in Training

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    And why is it that when you drop something on your foot, it usually misses the steel toe?

    If it's a penny for your thoughts, but contributiong your two cents worth, is the asker cheap or the thinker arrogant? Regardless, most people will give you the bargain, only to find our my--er their thoughts aren't worth the penny you offered...
     
  3. Fara Gems: 4/31
    Latest gem: Sunstone


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    How true, how true...


    If practice makes perfect, but it's impossible to be perfect, why bother practicing?

    If airplanes are so safe, why do they call where you wait the "terminal"?

    Why don't they make the entire airplane out of the same stuff as the "indestructible" black boxes?

    And finally:
    Start a fire for a man, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
     
  4. Blog Gems: 23/31
    Latest gem: Black Opal


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    Remember that as an individual, you are unique. Just like everyone else.

    The early bird catches the morning worm... the early worm gets eaten.
     
  5. Jazhara7 Gems: 7/31
    Latest gem: Tchazar


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    Why do noses run, and feet smell?

    The telephone was invented, to speed up the transmission of messages, that would take too long to write and send by mail. Today we still have telephones - but we use them for sending written messages that take 8 minutes to write, instead of calling the person and telling the message in only 2 minutes.


    A day with cheese can't be that bad.


    If you are half vampire, half elf, and half dragon (or enter anything you want), then you should check your math.
     
  6. Xei Win Toh Gems: 17/31
    Latest gem: Star Diopside


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    There are only three truths in life, and they are death, taxes, and the fact that you'll hear this joke sooner or later.
     
  7. Yirimyah Gems: 11/31
    Latest gem: Bloodstone


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    Ooooh... nice. :D
     
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