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Raewin's Revenge (fiction)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Kelvon Shadowmane, Aug 19, 2005.

  1. Kelvon Shadowmane Gems: 12/31
    Latest gem: Moonstone


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    Raewin’s Revenge
    Second book of the “Tears and Sorrow” Trilogy


    Prologue

    Raewin entered the tavern, shaking the rain off his black, leather armor. After scanning the area for anything suspicious, he walked to the barkeep.
    “Do you know a halfling by the name of Dwilligan Shadoweye?”
    “I don’t recall the name, but there was a halfling that passed through here a few days ago…”
    “Was he missing an eye?” Raewin interrupted the barkeep.
    “Why, yes he was. Then, I guess this is who you’re looking for.” said the barkeep.
    “Yes, he is. Do you happen to know which way he headed?”
    Rubbing his chin for a while, the barkeep said:
    “I think he said he was heading east…”
    “What’s the nearest important place to the east?” Raewin interrupted him again.
    “A monastery of Elarius. ‘Defenders of the suffering’, they call themselves. Crazy bunch o’ people, if you ask me.”
    “Thanks for your help.” And he turned around, ready to leave.
    “Don’t ye want anythin’ to drink?”
    “I’m just passing through.” Raewin said without turning.
    He then walked towards the door, but a big, tall man was waving his mug of ale while talking. He hit Raewin in the chest with it and spilled it on him, while he was walking by. The big man angrily turned towards Raewin.
    “You stupid moron! Look at what you’ve done! You’re gonna buy me another mug of ale, or else you’ll be sorry!”
    Raewin slowly looked up at him.
    “Are you an idiot? You spill your ale on me and you want me to buy you another one? You must be taking me for a fool!”
    “What did you just say? I’ll show you!”
    The big man raised his right hand, about to hit Raewin in the head with the empty mug. However, Raewin was too fast and punched the big man in the armpit while his hand was still raised. The big man dropped the mug and then furiously charged towards Raewin. Raewin dodged to the left and the big man hit the wall, head first. After shaking his head, he broke a leg off a chair and lunged wildly towards his opponent. In an eye blink, Raewin drew his rapier and cut the chair leg to a quarter of its size. Before the man could make another move, Raewin smacked him in the temple with the blunt side of his weapon. The big man fell on the floor, apparently unconscious.
    “No need to clean the ale off of me…” Raewin said and then headed out the tavern door, while everyone in the tavern stared at him.

    Chapter I – As close as one can get

    As soon as Raewin walked out of the tavern, his dwarven companion said:
    “What’s with all the racket, eh?”
    “An idiot spilled his ale on me and then demanded I buy him another one.”
    “So what happened?”
    “I didn’t kill him, but I silenced him.”
    “He should have known not to mess with Raewin Froregan!”
    Raewin angrily responded:
    “I told you not to call me by my surname, Brecan! It reminds me of my father!”
    “Hold yer nerves! I didn’t mean to offend ye!”
    “You didn’t.” said Raewin while calming down. ”You just made me remember my father’s death, caused by Dwilligan’s betrayal.”
    “Forgive me, anyway!”
    “Don’t worry, my friend. What matters is that the barkeep told me that he encountered a one-eyed halfling who he said was going east.”
    “So, what’s east?” the dwarf said.
    “Some monastery of Elarius.”
    “I be hearin’ that those priests be crazy!”
    “I don’t care about them. I just want Dwilligan and nothing more.” said Raewin with the shine of revenge in his eyes.
    “Well, let’s go then!” said Brecan, always ready for action.

    They left the town of Orthell in a rainy afternoon. They headed towards the Wyvern Mountains, along the Gleamflow River. It was a cold afternoon. The rain stopped after an hour or so, leaving the ground moist and muddy.
    Raewin and Brecan walked for about five hours when it started to get dark.
    “I suggest we make camp before the sun goes down.” Raewin said.
    “Be it as ye say.” The dwarf nodded.

    After they found a dry spot underneath a dense tree, Raewin said:
    “Start the fire, while I go hunt some food for the night.”
    Brecan started gathering almost-dry wood.

    Raewin was a very good hunter. He rarely missed with his shortbow. Even the fastest of animals couldn’t outrun his arrows. Hunting is what he did for a living in his hometown of Khepen, before his father died.
    After a bit of walking, Raewin took the shortbow of his back, recognizing some rabbit tracks. Very silently, he walked forward, scanning the area around him. After a few minutes he saw a rabbit running away, but his arrow stopped it in its tracks only seconds later. While taking the arrow out of the rabbit’s back he was thinking:
    “Does this revenge on Dwilligan bare any sense?”
    As he whipped the arrow of blood and put it back in his quiver, he again remembered his father, Calith Froregan’s death and the fact that he would have lived, had Dwilligan not stolen the Potion of Renewal.
    “All I want is to see your blood on my blade, Shadoweye. That is all I want.”
    He picked up the dead rabbit and left back to camp.

    “Back already?” said Brecan, while still tending the fire. “Pretty chubby little fellow ye got there!”
    “I’ve seen chubbier ones…” said Raewin, trying to be on the same line with the dwarf.

    After they finished eating, Brecan asked Raewin:
    “Ye really want that halfling’s head on a pole, don’t ye?”
    “It is my only desire.”
    “So what are ye gonna do after ye accomplish yer desire?”
    “I’ve never thought about that…” said Raewin with a sad voice.
    “Maybe ye’ll be wantin’ to find yerself a woman.”
    “I feel no need for a woman, right now.”
    After a long silence, Brecan said:
    “Remember that brown haired mage gal? What was here name…”
    “Gwenith Voredric.”
    “Ya, that was it! Don’t ye miss her? From what I recall, you were pretty fond of her.”
    “Not right now. Now the only thing on my mind is… Dwilligan.”
    “This revenge ‘ell be the end of ye, if ye’re not careful, Raewin…”
    “Don’t you worry, Brecan.” said Raewin, slowly.
    After a long pause, Raewin said:
    “I’m tired. Good night, my friend.”

    While the moon was still high in the sky, a small, cloaked figure showed up at the door of the monastery. He slowly knocked at the door. After a few minutes, a priest opened the door. Dressed in a simple, brown robe, he said:
    “Welcome, traveler, to the monastery of Elarius. How may we assist you?”
    I am in need of a place to sleep for the night. Maybe some food and water, if you have any to spare.”
    “You are welcome to stay here, traveler.” said the priest, while showing the halfling in. “May I know your name?”
    “My name is not important. I am but a simple traveler, passing through.”
    “Then let me show you to your room.”
    As they were walking along a torch lit corridor, the halfling pushed a silver goblet that was standing on a table, in his pocket. The priest didn’t notice a thing. Then they entered a small room, with a bed and a small table.
    “Is this satisfactory, my dear traveler?” said the priest.
    “It is more than enough.”
    “I shall send for someone to bring you some food and water.”
    “Before you go, I need a favor of you.”
    “What might that be?” surprised, the priest asked.
    “Someone is following me. He is a long, black haired man wearing a black, leather armor. Could you tell me if he comes here?”
    “Certainly! We shall keep an eye out for such a man. Have a good night and may Elarius watch over you.”
    “Good night to you too,” said the halfling while the priest closed the door on his way out.

    It was a calm night. The calm before the storm, some would say. Neither Raewin nor Dwilligan slept well. Dwilligan’s dream was about running away from Raewin, knowing what he would do to him. On the other hand, Raewin’s dream was about searching for Dwilligan. His dream culminated with a dark room in which he was face to face with Dwilligan. He drew his rapier, ready to stab Dwilligan, but a sweet female voice said: “Don’t do it, Raewin!” As he turned around he saw Gwenith… Then the dream ended.
    As soon as Raewin and Brecan woke up, they set off towards the monastery. In the early afternoon, they arrived at the monastery. A priest, looking out a window at the second floor, saw a man in black, leather armor. The priest ran to Dwilligan’s room.
    “A man in black, leather armor is approaching the monastery.”
    “You must not let him in!” said the halfling with fear in his voice.
    “I shall do my best,” said the priest.
    Raewin knocked at the door. Soon after, a priest said from a window:
    “What do you want, traveler?”
    “I’m looking for a halfling. I heard he might be here.”
    “There are no halflings around here, traveler. Look somewhere else!” said the priest and then closed the window.
    “I say he’s lyin’. As crazy as they may be, priests of Ilarius welcome travelers to their monasteries!” said Brecan with a convinced tone.
    “I think you’re right, Brecan.” said Raewin while taking out some rope out of his backpack. He tied one end of the rope to a grappling hook. After swinging it a bit, he threw it towards the window and the hook stuck to the lower part of its wooden frame.
    “Stay here and wait for me.” said Raewin and then started climbing the rope. He quickly reached the window and broke it with his elbow. He jumped inside a small room. Inside was a priest.
    “What in Elarius’ name do you think you’re doing, breaking in like this?”
    “I’m here for the halfling.”
    “What do you want with him?”
    “I want to kill him!”
    “I shall not let you hurt him!”
    “Get out of my way priest, I don’t want to hurt YOU!”
    “You’ll have to use force to get past me!”
    When Raewin heard this, he grabbed the priest and pushed him out of the way. The priest drew a dagger and tried to stab Raewin in the back. Raewin dodged the dagger, drew his rapier and stabbed the priest in the chest.
    “I warned you!” Raewin said while taking the rapier out of the dead priest’s chest.
    In the meantime, Brecan was loosing his patience. Eventually, he drew his battleaxe and easily bashed the door down. He entered a corridor; in front of him were two priests.
    “What is the meaning of this?” said one of them.
    “Get out of me way, ye skinny priests!”
    “You’ll have to make us!” said the other priest.
    “By Drugan’s Axe, ye’ll be sorry!” said the dwarf and then lunged forward, implanting his battleaxe in one of the priests’ shoulders. He fell to the ground, squirming in great pain, his arm barely hanging to his torso. The other ran away.
    As Raewin walked through the upper hallway, two priests surrounded him. They where both wielding quarterstaffs.
    “I’ve already killed one of you. You’d better walk away if you know what’s good for you!” said Raewin trying to avoid more bloodshed.
    One of the priests hit Raewin in the leg with a quarterstaff. Out of reflex, Raewin’s hand made a swift swipe and his rapier severed the priest’s head.
    “Run…” said Raewin to the other priest while trying to control his anger. He did exactly as he was told.
    The very next moment Brecan ran up the stairs.
    “What are you doing here? I told you to wait in front of the door!” said Raewin.
    “I want some action too, ye know!”
    “Whatever! Let’s go find that traitor!”
    As they entered his room, the window was open and a message lay on the table:
    “I can’t hide, but I can run! And I’ll keep running for the rest of my life, if I have to!”
    “And I’ll keep hunting you for the rest of my life!” said Raewin while staring out the window, towards the Wyvern Mountains.

    Chapter II – Blood and Wine

    Runegar was in his tent, examining some maps. He was so concentrated at the maps that he didn’t even notice Garrin entering his worktent.
    “Chief Runegar, I have returned from my patrol,” said Garrin.
    “And what have you discovered?”
    “Nothing, chief. They don’t seem to be aware of our approach.”
    “Very good. However, keep patrolling the area. We can never be too certain!” ended Runegar and turned his eyes back to the maps. The other black haired barbarian left the tent in order to continue his patrols.

    It was getting dark as the small, cloaked figure walked on and on through the deep snow. The sun had just set behind him. He was heading east, towards Ravelon, a small town on the cold shore of the Sea of the Wyvern.
    At the same time, in this small town of Ravelon, stood a mage in a small room filled with burning candles. After a few minutes of deep meditation, he suddenly opened his eyes and said:
    “I’m telling you, Arvik, something terrible is about to happen.”
    “What do you seeee, Master?” asked a small, green humanoid with pointy ears.
    The mage closed his eyes once more, but only for a few seconds and opened them as suddenly as the first time.
    “What I see is unclear. I see a great evil force. It is near… coming this way. However, I feel another force. Not evil, but full of anger and hatred. It is almost as powerful as the other force. I also feel a third fluctuation in the Balance, but it is indiscernible to me.”
    “Do you think we are in danger, Master?” said the little green thing while stirring in a large pot that seemed to be full of northern vegetables and water.
    Turning his head towards Arvik, the mage responded:
    “Yes, Arvik… I think this time we are all in danger. However, I don’t know who to fear more; the evil or the hatred…”
    “But you’ll protect me, Master! Just like you did when you saved me from those big orcs! If it wouldn’t have been for you, Master, now I probably wouldn’t have had ANY legs!” said the little, green, once bipedal creature as it limped to the other side of the small, candle-lit room.

    After a few minutes of staring out the window, towards the snow swept Mountains of the Wyvern, Raewin finally said:
    “He went on east, through the mountains. I can see his tracks in the snow. He left a few hours ago.”
    “Huh… I guess hate really improves yer sight, eh?” Brecan sarcastically mumbled to himself.
    “We leave right away!” Raewin added.
    “But I reckon it be very dangerous to walk through the mountains during the night. Why don’t we stay ‘ere for the night?”
    Angry at the dwarf’s comment, Raewin yelled:
    “Because I don’t want to see another one of these pathetic Elarius freaks for the rest of my life! And besides, as we speak, Dwilligan is putting more and more distance between him and us!”
    Therefore, they were on their way, through the night, through the mountains, and through the snow. Walked they did, for hours and hours. Tired they were, but still they walked.
    Just as they were about to make camp before dawn, Brecan’s keen dwarven sight caught a glimpse of two red dots in some dark bushes close by.
    “Get yer weapon ready, Raewin, I smell wolves!”
    Raewin took out his shortbow just as a wolf jumped in front of him, it’s teeth ready to dig deep in Raewin’s meat. However, that turned out to be just wishful thinking on the wolf’s part, because one of Raewin arrows quickly interrupted any cerebral activity in the wolf’s brain. It fell dead, but at the same time, another wolf jumped Raewin from behind, knocking him to the ground. Just as the wolf was about to stick its bloodthirsty teeth in Raewin’s nape, Brecan’s battleaxe split the wolf’s head in half, bloodying Raewin’s black, leather armor. As soon as Raewin got up, he promptly said:
    “Thank you, Brecan! For saving my life and for bloodying my armor!
    “Heck now! It be no problem, me friend!” Brecan merrily replied.
    Therefore, they went on, laughing and joking and deciding not to make camp anymore, because of the dangers of the mountains.
    The sun was up, and they were still walking through the same mountains and the same snow.
    After another hour or so of walking, Raewin spotted two tall, dark-haired men, walking about a hundred feet in front of them.
    They were wearing hide armor and were carrying greataxes.
    Raewin and Brecan slowly sneaked closer, close enough to hear what the two men were saying.
    “The chief says that we attack Ravelon in three days,” said one of the two men.
    After examining them a bit more, Brecan whispered to Raewin:
    “These are the Barbarians of the North. Strong and viciously territorial, these tribals despise civilized folk ‘cause they settled the area ‘round the northern mountains, their so called homeland.
    Raewin whispered back:
    “They seem to be planning an attack on the town of Ravelon. We should go there and warn their leader. Besides, Dwilligan is probably there.”
    Therefore, after the barbarians left, Raewin and Brecan continued their walk to Ravelon.
    In less than two hours, they saw the crystal-blue waters of the Sea of the Wyvern. Ice was visible, far to the north. After about an hour they arrived at the wooden palisade of Ravelon. A town of no more than a thousand people, Ravelon was a welcome sight for the weary travelers.
    “Greetings, travelers,” said one of the two guards as they approached the wooden gates. “Welcome to the town of Ravelon. I hope that you’re stay here will be a pleasant one, and that you shall cause no trouble.”
    “Thank you, good sir,” Raewin half-bowed. “Could you direct us to the nearest inn?”
    “Of course! The Frozen Lizard is on the fourth street on the left,” said the guard while pointing his finger to a vaguely descriptive direction.
    “Thank you again, and have a good day.” And they left for the Frozen Lizard Inn.
    On the way there, Brecan asked Raewin:
    “So, what do ye plan fer us to do next?”
    “I say we get a room, have a drink or two, and have a good night’s rest. I’m so tired I could sleep a week!”
    “Ay, that sounds good and all… especially the drinkin’! But, what about them barbarians? Shouldn’t we tell someone what we saw?
    “The’ll be enough time for that tomorrow, Brecan. Let’s enjoy our stay here, for now.”
    After a short conflict is his mind, the dwarf decided not to ask anything about Dwilligan. He preferred Raewin in the mood he was in right now.
    The Frozen Lizard was a two story, L-shaped building. As soon as Raewin opened the door, he saw a large painting on the far wall. The painting was of a large, long lizard that had a strange, icy hide.
    “I guess that explains the name, eh?” he heard Brecan thinking out loud. The first floor was full of round, wooden tables and averagely crafted wooden seats. The place was mainly full of peasants, drinking and telling bad jokes. Two or three local militiamen and a strangely well equipped man sitting alone at a table in the corner. This brown, shorthaired man with a trident beard seemed to be wearing red half-plate armor and beside him lay a large, metal shield and a bastard sword. Painted on the shield, there was a lion’s head, with its maw wide open.
    The two travelers talked to the innkeeper, got themselves a room and then found themselves sitting at a table next to the red-armored man’s table, who was silently drinking his wine, and apparently analyzing the area and people around him. The two ordered some wine and as soon as it came, Brecan found himself almost-yelling:
    “Ahoy, Eastern Red! Best wine this side o’ the Mid Sea, I tell ye!” and in the next five seconds he drained the goblet and yelled for another one.
    “And make it a mug this time! Goblets just ain’t big enough fer me!”
    Raewin was slowly sipping from his goblet and staring at Brecan as if waiting for him to say something interesting.
    “So, tell me, Raewin. How come ye’re in such a good mood all o’ the sudden?”
    Raewin sighed and then said:
    “I’ve been thinking about Gwenith and those magical summer nights I’ve spent with her… Gods, I miss her!”
    “Dare I ask if she knows about yer father’s fate?”
    “No, Brecan. She doesn’t know. Have you forgot that she left for Tellamir before Dwilligan stole the potion?”
    “Well know… I guess me memory’s not what it used to be,” said Brecan before ordering another mug of wine.
    Just then, two militiamen entered the inn and walked to Raewin and Brecan’s table.
    “Good day to you,” said one of them, and by the looks of his equipment, he was of a higher ranking that the other one. “I am lieutenant Darron, of the local militia. I have been informed that you just came from the Wyvern Mountains.”
    “What in Drugan’s name do ye care?” Brecan jumped from his chair, almost knocking over the table.
    Raewin put his hand on Brecan’s shoulder and pulled him back on his seat.
    “Please excuse my friend, he seems to be a bit drunk. My name is Raewin Froregan and this is Brecan Burchfist. Yes, we came from the Wyvern Mountains. What would you have of us?”
    “Our spiritual leader, Telldin, would like to have a private discussion with the two of you. If you agree, we will lead you to his house,” said lieutenant Darron while gesturing his hand towards the door.
    “Lead the way then… Come on Brecan, you’ve had enough wine for today.”
    On the way to Telldin’s house, Brecan stopped and dropped on his knees, in front of some shiny pebbles and started picking the shiniest of them. He continued by putting them in his pocket.
    “By the hells!” said Raewin. “What are you doing, Brecan?”
    “Leave me, mate! These pebbles be shinier than a baboon’s arse!”
    “Come on, Brecan! This is not the time!” said Raewin while pulling Brecan by his right arm.
    They soon found themselves in front of a big, two-story, stone building.
    Lieutenant Darron knocked at the door and in a matter of seconds, the door was opened by a tall, middle-age man dressed in finely decorated blue robes.
    Darron bowed and said:
    “Sir, we have found the two that you have sent us for.”
    Very good, lieutenant. You may return to your post,” said the blue-robed man while gesturing for Raewin and Brecan to come in.
    They entered a very spacious room with a lavishly decorated coffee table and two comfortable looking, green, leather couches.
    After biding for Raewin and Brecan to sit down and after seating himself, the blue-robed man said:
    “I am Telldin, mage of Ahlara and in service of the Greater Balance. Also, spiritual leader of this community. I bid you welcome, travelers. May I know your names?”
    “Certainly,” said Raewin. “I am Raewin Froregan and this… is Brecan Burchfist,” while Brecan was starring maniacally at the glittering gems on Telldin’s necklace.
    “I think you have some information for me, regarding a certain threat to our humble community,” said Telldin while rubbing his densely bearded chin.
    “We have seen two longhaired men wearing hide armor and wielding greataxes. One of them said that they are going to attack Ravelon in three days. My friend says that they are barbarians and that they despise civilized folk for settling their homeland.”
    Just then, Arvik entered the room and said:
    “Master, the soup is finished.”
    In an eye blink, Brecan was on his feet, battleaxe in his hand:
    “By Drugan’s Axe, I’ll burry ye in the ground, ye foul goblin!”
    He barely made two steps towards Arvik, when Telldin started waving his hands, and speaking some incomprehensible words, and in another eye blink, Brecan was encased in a transparent, green sphere, incapable of moving a finger.
    “I’m sorry, but I cannot allow your friend to hurt my assistant. Thank you, Arvik. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Wait for me upstairs.”
    Always amazed by the versatility of magic, Raewin said:
    “Forgive my friend. He drank too much wine. He drank too much wine.”
    “I understand. So, when did this encounter occur?”
    “Early this morning, about ten hours west.”
    “In this case, I think we have enough time to prepare for the coming battle. I would appreciate your help in fighting these barbarians. You seem like the capable warrior and I certainly do not doubt your friend’s fighting skills. What say you?”
    “Of course we will help you.”
    “If we succeed in defeating them, you will certainly get your reward. I would advise you to pass by the barracks as soon as possible and get yourselves some better equipment. You will need it.”
    “And where will we be positioned?”
    “Talk to captain Steddson, at the barracks. He will fill you in on all the details.”
    After that, Raewin made for the door, but before opening it, he said:
    “What about Brecan? I don’t think you want to keep him here.”
    “Don’t worry about him. He’ll be out shortly.”
    As soon as Raewin was out of the house, Telldin threw out another series of incomprehensible words and Brecan suddenly appeared next to Raewin, not encased in a transparent sphere anymore.
    “Come on, Brecan. Let’s get back to the inn.”
    The only thing that Brecan was capable of saying while swinging sideways was:
    “I want more wine!”
    Slowly, but surely, they made it back to the Frozen Lizard. The place was full of drunkards and big-bellied farmers laughing with unnervingly loud volume. The red-armored man with a trident beards was still sitting at the same table.
    The sun was nearing the frozen peaks of the Wyvern Mountains. After a long yawn, Raewin said:
    “You know, Brecan, I think we should go to bed. As I said before, I’m so tired I could sleep a week.”
    “Nay, mate! I ain’t goin’ nowhere! The only thing I be doin’ right now is drinkin’ me dwarven arse off!”
    “Whatever, Brecan… Do as you will, I’m going to sleep!”
    Raewin went upstairs, entered an average size room with two beds, a table and a wide window pointing towards the sea. He took off his scabbard and his bow and placed them on the table. Then he took off his muddy, leather leggings and placed them next to his bed. He thought about taking off his leather armor, but he was too tired, so he just made himself comfortable and soon went to sleep.
     
  2. Erebus Gems: 16/31
    Latest gem: Shandon


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    You might want to be a bit more creative in your structure and word choice. Because just reading 'he said:' followed by drawn out conversations tends to be a bit boring.
     
  3. Kelvon Shadowmane Gems: 12/31
    Latest gem: Moonstone


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    thanks for the tip, but english isn't my native language, so...
     
  4. Lord Garak Gems: 7/31
    Latest gem: Tchazar


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    Might want to space the lines as well.

    Something like this you know?

    Otherwise it's not bad but keep posting because a lack of work on the story could lead to writer block.
     
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