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More Crap From Eze: Black Heart

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Eze, Aug 31, 2003.

  1. Eze Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    Heh. More crap. Say what you think.

    I crawl in dirt
    I set my eyes upon you
    But you toss me away
    But you laugh at me
    It was no fear
    That made me serve you
    It was no weakness
    That made me serve you
    It was hatred
    That made me serve you
    And finally plunge a knife into your dark dark heart

    A walk abound
    See the color of your heart
    It’s so black like void
    A walk around
    Black like death and night itself
    You have a black heart

    No whipping would make me stop
    No promise would make me withdraw
    I can have my revenge
    So shut up
    You pretty *****
    Pretty in black
    Stained in black
    And finally stomped on in dirt

    A walk abound
    See the color of your heart
    It’s so black like void
    A walk around
    Black like death and night itself
    You have a black heart

    I have shattered your walls
    I have torn down your defenses
    I have dug into your body and pulled
    Your black heart out
    Can’t you see
    You won’t live with a heart like this
    You won’t because I won’t let you
     
  2. Arabwel

    Arabwel Screaming towards Apotheosis Veteran

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    *blinks*

    You're scary. but that is one ptretty freaking good one.
     
  3. Oaz Gems: 29/31
    Latest gem: Glittering Beljuril


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    [pretentious mature voice]

    "You may not realize it, young lady, but these angst-ridden and bitter poems and self-deprecations are only a silent cry for help."

    [/pretentious mature voice]
     
  4. Arabwel

    Arabwel Screaming towards Apotheosis Veteran

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    [annoyed *****y voice]

    Maybe, but what does THAT have to do with the fact that they're abso-freakin'-lutely great?

    [/annoyed *****y voice]

    [ September 01, 2003, 07:00: Message edited by: Arabwel ]
     
  5. Oaz Gems: 29/31
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    I was under the impression that they were crap.
     
  6. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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    lol Oaz, the nail is cowered after that one :rolleyes:

    I must admit, its abit hard going and depressing! :(
     
  7. Smyther Gems: 3/31
    Latest gem: Lynx Eye


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    I think you have more in common with Colonel Sanitago than just a little sister. You read Planet: A Survivalist's Guide lately?
     
  8. Mesmero

    Mesmero How'd an old elf get the blues?

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    The first thing that came to mind when I read this poem was: crap. I always learned that poetry is the language of the heart, and it is more than words that can be read, it is the feelings that somebody puts in his poetry. Those feeling, why somebody wrote a poem, takes some analysing, but that is what I'm going to do here (and tell me if I'm absolutely wrong).

    [Dr. Phil voice]

    In previous posts I read from you, you often seem to think of yourself, as 'evil', like you have a black heart. I think the 'I' and the 'you' in this poem is both you. You have two sides, one with a black heart, and one that feels like it suffers under the dominent black-hearted one. The 'better' side of you serves the black-hearted side of you, but it wants to break free. You hate yourself (or at least a part of yourself), and by 'killing' the black-hearted side of yourself, you seem to want a better life.

    But you also seem to admire the black-hearted part of yourself. You call that part pretty and you see it as stronger and superior. Maybe you would feel weak, without that part of you.

    [/Dr. Phil voice]

    I'm not a psycholigist, I don't even know much about poetry. What I do know about poetry, is that every word is put there for a reason. If my analyses is even a bit right, I suggest you find some profesional help. If my analises was totally wrong, I apologise for it.
     
  9. Aikanaro Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone


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    So basically what you're saying is that Eze is either a screw ball, or can't write poetry for ****. :shake:
     
  10. Mesmero

    Mesmero How'd an old elf get the blues?

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    Everybody can write poetry. Just write how you feel about something, and it is poetry.

    But I don't claim Eze is a screwball, I think she knows perfectly what she is doing, but I also think she is troubled by something. What I am saying, is if she feels that there is a struggle going on inside her or that she doesn't feel comfortable being herself, that there people specialised to help you.

    Like Oaz said, you're crying out for help, whether you know it or not. And if you weren't looking for help, why would you open up by posting something as personal as a poem on the internet?

    And like I said in my previous post, I'm not of profesional, I could be totally wrong here.
     
  11. Eze Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    Mesmero, you are actually a bit right, I think. Heh. And well, I do have some problems with dealing with myself. It's quite annoying to say the least.

    Smyther, nope.
     
  12. night_hawk Banned

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    poerty the language of heart? nice!

    ah, maybe eze likes someone and dumped her or maybe she saw someone with him and felt jelous because she felt used up or finally, she just wrote that poem because .... whatever

    "people tend to make out explanations for things- even if it really doent have a reason they do, always.."
     
  13. Eze Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    Night-hawk, I have not been dumped by anybody, as all boys, who approach with more than friendly thoughts, are usually told to **** off.

    I would never be jealous of another girl, who has a boyfriend. Who needs those anyway?
     
  14. Mystra's Chosen Gems: 22/31
    Latest gem: Sphene


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    You hate your father, don't you?
    Other than that, I'd say Mesmero has a good handle on stuff.
     
  15. Eze Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    Yeah, I hate the biological one and the stepfather a little as well.

    :/
     
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