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Judging (BG2)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by kuemper, Aug 23, 2005.

  1. kuemper Gems: 31/31
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    The following is based on the idea of a Nalia romance and the clashing of two personalities. It does have strong, adult themes and I tried to cull the more obvious language and sexuality. It doesn't read any worse than any romance novel in my local library, but not everyone has the same tastes. There are points with {REST SCREEN} that are there to cover the snipped bits. It should pass for PG-13, if nothing else. This was first published at PPG under the title 'Disillusioned'. Feedback is appreciated.
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    Judging
    By Kuemper (c) 2005

    I stood on the parapets and stared at the darkness of the approaching rainstorm.
    The clouds were a rolling mass of black color, surging across the sky over my
    keep. I grunted at my thought. 'My keep.' Ha! Not really; not with Nalia in
    residence. Oh, she may protest and argue that she is merely my 'ward' and that
    having me 'in charge' is the better of her fates. For all her posturing about
    her concern for the poor, teeming masses, I still see the sharp edge of nobility
    in her actions.

    I turned at the sound of the door opening. Nalia poked her auburn head outside
    and called, "You should not be out here, Manwae." I crossed my arms over my
    chest, shutting my eyes to the words. Her slippers scuffed the stones as she
    walked to me. A hand reached out and pressed itself against my biceps. "The
    storm caused flooding in the eastern country."

    "So?" I slitted my eyes and glance down at her.

    The fingers tightened in the cloth of my tunic. "I-You could fall ill," she
    stammered. "Your trip to Waterdeep would be delayed." I touched her wrist with
    my left hand, quirking a smile at her concern.

    "There's no other reason for me to stay?" I answered, leading the statement into
    a question. I found the pretty noble attractive and determined, still do in
    fact, and tried my damnedest to get her to admit she cared for me more than her
    precious 'weak and poor'. Fat drops of warm rain plopped against our bodies. She
    unconsciously leaned into my warmth and I allowed it, wrapping her into my
    embrace. "You really should wear more practical robes." Her thin gown of green
    merino clung to my lower legs like seaweed. She slid her arms around my chest
    and rested her cheek to my shoulder. Anyone else and I might describe it as
    snuggling, except she held a part of herself away from me.

    The wind kicked up and cooled the temperature considerably. It teased my black
    hair around my face and ruffled Nalia's skirts. I watched the by-play of loose
    strands of auburn tresses buffeted in the breeze. Unable to stop myself, I
    settled those flyaways back to her scalp with the palm of my hand and pressed
    them to stay with a brief caress of my fingers. She tucked herself further into
    my arms with a sigh. "I should return," she whispered. "Aunty would ring peal if
    she saw me out here."

    "Of course. Mingling with the riff-raff is right out."

    She pulled back, tipping her chin up. "I would never say that, Manwae. I've
    never thought of you that way. Aunty does and Isaea does but not me." The
    weather dampened her cheeks and created a sheen over her skin. Tempting, very
    tempting, I'll admit. I eased a fingertip along her jaw line and along her pink
    lips, seeing them open slightly. Her breath heated the digit as I continued to
    stare at her lovely mouth. I felt her eyes on my face. Did she want it? Gods, I
    hoped so. I bent my head down and caught the smirk on my lips before she noticed
    as she stretched upwards.

    Our lips met; epoch.

    I groaned as the taste of her overwhelmed my senses. Sweet cream with a dash of
    cinnamon poured across my tongue as I delved inside her mouth. Her gasp at my
    intrusion was muffled and I held her firmly against me. 'Not this time, pet,' I
    growled in my mind. One hand immobilized her head, preventing any chance for
    escape. My other slipped downwards along her body, cautiously seeking the
    womanly curves beneath her gown. I stroked outside the clothes, understanding
    her skittishness.

    After several minutes of heavy kissing, Nalia's hands began their own
    adventures. They rubbed my chest tentatively, almost in disbelief that I was
    allowing this. I inhaled deeply through my nose, pressing my pectorals against
    her palms. Her fingers dug into the fabric of my shirt. They grew bolder with
    each caress. Her left found its way around my waist and started petting my back
    with long, gentle strokes. I rewarded her with a growl of pleasure. "Nalia," I
    whispered harshly. "Don't leave me like this, please."

    She replied in a throaty voice I'd longed to hear, "Give me a reason to and I
    will."

    "A thousand," I promised and swept her into my arms. We shared a smile - mine of
    conqueror and hers of surrender. The rain pelted us as I carried my lady to the
    nearest door. The fat drops dribbled down my chin and soaked the bodice of her
    robe. I couldn't help but watch, fascinated, as the material dampened and clung
    to her body. It caused me to fumble with the handle, but eventually, we made it
    inside the castle.

    We listened at the entry to the upstairs hall, hoping no one was about this
    late. You never knew about Lady Delcia. She wandered the castle whenever the
    whim took her. I heard nothing and carefully opened the door. I dropped a quick
    peck on Nalia's cheek and scurried through the empty corridors toward my
    bedroom. Upon my successful arrival, I lowered my love to her feet and barred
    the door. When I turned to resume my seduction, she looked pale and nervous. I
    reached for her. We shared another throaty kiss. She excitedly touched my body,
    even going so far as to loosen my tunic. She helped me take the waterlogged
    garment off and gulped. "You certainly are...manly," she stammered as her eyes
    took in the sight of my bared chest. I glanced down at the dark fur and caught
    her gaze. "It's not bad, really." Her apology paired with the threading of her
    delicate fingers through the thick nest eased my bruised pride.

    "Well, it does keep me warm," I quipped back and guided her backwards to the
    massive bed. Her knees hit the counterpane and she fell over with a cry. I
    followed and settled myself atop her lithe form. "I'm sure you'll agree."
    Raining brief kisses upon her, I unfastened her gown and parted the edges of her
    chemise. My lips burned a trail down her arched throat. A pink blush flushed the
    pale skin there. I paused for a moment and committed the sight of her beauty to
    memory.

    "What's wrong?" Nalia asked in a trembling voice.

    "Just wondering how far you want to take this," I answered honestly and waited
    for her reply.

    She answered by drawing me to her bosom. I wanted her to be more
    malleable, but I suppose that would come with time.

    {REST SCREEN}

    I tumbled onto one side and tossed an arm over my head. We lay in
    panting recovery for a time. The bed shifted as she leaned over me.
    "That was very nice," she conceded and kissed me chastely on the mouth.
    "I never knew it could be like this."

    "Bull," I shot back. She pulled back at my heated comment. I cocked
    a brow and snorted. "You weren't a virgin, Nalia. My scope on screwing
    might be limited, but I had a pretty decent teacher in Candlekeep." I
    reined in my anger and rose off the mattress. I walked over and checked
    the dryness of her clothing. Everything was still soaked.

    "You have no right to judge me. You're just like the rest of them - you
    only see what you want and nevermind the rest," she argued as she
    clothed herself in a blanket. "I'm here with *you*! Does it matter that
    much that you weren't my first lover?"

    I folded my arms across my chest and simple looked at her. "A guy kinda
    hopes he'll be the first," I replied softly, burying my anger in my
    gut.

    "So, you aren't going to ask who it was?" Nalia's voice became quiet,
    almost diffident.

    "No." I went to the armoire and retrieved a pair of pants from inside.
    I sensed her eyes following my every move.

    "Really?"

    "Yes, really. Besides, what you do with Isaea is none of my business."
    She sucked in a breath, confirming for me what I'd always suspected. I
    glanced at her face and smiled wickedly. "He 'arrested' you and kept
    you 'incarcerated' for an entire day. I know I'd be trying to get under
    your skirts." I laced up my breeches. "Oh wait, I did." That got me a
    smack on the face.

    "How dare you!" she huffed and angrily combed her hair out of her
    vision. "You have no right treating me this way! You are not my
    father."

    "No, but you are my ward, whatever in the hell that means." I held out
    a laundered shirt. "Be a good girl and get dressed. It's hard to accept
    noblesse oblige from you when you're wearing a sheet."

    She took the shirt and I gave her my back. I listened to her struggle
    to dress without dropping her safety blanket. I squatted in front of
    the fire and poked at the flaming logs with my left hand and pinched
    the bridge of my nose with the other. The break from a fight years ago
    ached as I rubbed it. I screwed up by mentioning her former betrothed
    and realized there was no way to recover from that. "You may turn
    around now," she stated.

    "Gee, thanks," I grumbled. She sat down on the edge of the bed, legs
    crossed at the knees. "What?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

    "I believe an apology is in order." Her eyes were shuttered towards me
    and her chin hiked up a notch. Goody-goody, looked like the snob was
    back. "You besmirched my name with your accusations, Manwae, and I
    won't have it." She waved a hand in a queenly manner.

    I caved. "Sorry about the Isaea crack. It was uncalled for."

    "That wasn't so hard, was it?" Nalia smiled, fluttering her eyelashes
    coyly. The spell hit me in the gut and I grunted. Damn, she was good. I
    didn't notice her fingers moving at all. "What is it about me that
    gives the impression that I'm helpless? Everyone seems to forget I am a
    competent magic-user." She stood and rubbed her hands together. "Now,
    let's see if I can't get that lock open."

    As she tiptoed to the door, I followed her just as stealthily. She
    knelt in front of the lock and peered inside the keyhole. I held myself
    back, out of sight. She hummed, then unwound a piece of colored banding
    from one braid. Fascinated, I watched as she inserted it into the iron
    lock and twisted it carefully. Sweat broke out on her face. She swiped
    a hand across her brow and resumed her work. "You could just ask for
    the key," I breathed in her ear.

    She jolted at the sound of my voice, whipping around to face me.
    "Manwae! You scared me!" Her tone began as a strangled cry and changed
    to disbelief. "You-you-how?" She looked so pitifully confused that her
    magic didn't work that I couldn't hold back my laughter. "But you
    should be held or stunned or-or-I don't know!" She stammered on about
    how I shouldn't be mobile even as I unbarred the door and tucked her
    out into the hallway.

    "'Night, Nalia," I said with a satisfied smirk and closed the door in
    her face.

    Still chuckling, I made my way across to the armoire and opened it. I
    pulled out my faithful knapsack from the bottom and tossed it onto the
    bed. I took out a few changes of clothes, thinking. I'd never traveled
    alone, even after Gorion died. Imoen was always with me. The trip north
    would be harrowing in more ways than one. I shook my head. No one was
    hunting me down anymore. The Bhaal essence was gone, thanks to the
    Solar. I was a regular human man, not the son of a god. I opened the
    bag and stuffed the clothes inside, cinching the ties tightly. "What
    else do I need?" I asked the empty room. My trusty axe, of course, and
    a few potions I could wrangle from the keep's priest. Surveying the
    room, I saw nothing else I needed or wanted to take.

    I picked up a thick oak board and slotted it in the braces on either
    side of the door. I hated getting woken up from a sound sleep. You'd
    make a hell of a lot of noise trying to dislodge that chunk of wood,
    which gave me time to plan. Not that anyone ever attacked the keep. Not
    since I've lived here. The Roenalls were pretty quiet and I wondered
    what they were up to. Although, Isaea probably would show up
    conveniently after I leave.

    I tossed on my damp shirt and felt around on side of the armoire. The
    catch slid in, revealing an empty space behind the furniture. I opened
    it enough for me to get passed, then closed it cautiously. The small
    passage was dark, so I guided myself along with a hand lightly touching
    the wall. My bare feet stepped gently as I moved ahead. Occasionally, I
    paused and listened at places I knew rooms to be. Nothing at Delcia's
    room. I wasn't surprised. She was most likely downstairs, badgering the
    servants. I moved on and cocked an ear at Nalia's wall.

    Things were being thrown around with punctuation on my behavior.
    "Bastard," she hissed loudly, causing me to grin knowingly. "How dare
    he?!" Silence. I pressed my head against the wall and heard papers
    rustling. There was more rummaging sounds I couldn't identify. "Oooo!
    He makes me *so* mad sometimes!" More silence, then drawers slamming.
    Putting on another gown, I surmised. "I'll show him." Uh-oh, that did
    not sound good. I turned to get back to my room pronto when I heard her
    door slam. I indulged my naughty side.

    The hidden door in her room was behind her vanity mirror. I popped
    inside quickly and glanced around. Her room was messy - my shirt balled
    up and thrown in a corner, the bed in disarray and papers strewn about.
    Bending down, I gingerly picked one up and recognized it as a spell
    scroll. "Oh, sh*t," I said under my breath and dropped to my knees. I
    felt under her bed for that scroll case I'd given her last year. I
    found it and dragged it out, half-closed with vellum sheets poking out
    of the casing. "I think I might be screwed."

    I left through her door and worked my way to my room. I came around the
    corner just in time to see a green ray shoot from her fingertips. My
    door became instant ashes. I shouted my indignation. Nalia whipped
    around to greet me. "You left me no choice," she said and started
    reading from another scroll. My legs ate up the ground between us.

    "Umph," I groaned painfully and fell over to writhe in agony. 'What the
    hell did she cast, Nalia's Nutcracker?' I thought through the haze of
    blinding pain.

    She bent over my prone body, tucking loose hair behind her ears as she
    spoke. "Time Stop is a wonderful spell, dear heart. Gave me enough time
    to pummel you soundly, although you do deserve more. Be happy I only
    used my fists and knee." She brushed a hand across my forehead and
    along my stubbly jaw. The rolling ache in my belly blurred when I
    noticed the laces of her gown weren't tied snugly. I stared happily
    into her shadowed cleavage, anticipating her renewed attack if she found
    out. "And for your information, I never slept with Isaea, *ever*. My
    first was Glaicas, the former head of the guards."

    Somehow, I managed to croak, "You didn't have to tell me."

    "Yes, yes I did. I don't want you thinking Isaea was ever more to me
    than pond scum." She sat down next to me with her back propped against
    a wall and her legs straight out. "People seem to have all these
    misconceptions about me, especially those who know me well." Color
    boomed on her cheeks and she fiddled with a piece of lace trim on her
    cuff. "I'll admit I'm not the smartest person around, but that doesn't
    make me stupid either. You, of all people, should have understood that.
    Because you are-were a Bhaalspawn, it tainted how others viewed you.
    Only your actions could prove otherwise and perhaps, not even then. I
    am thought of as frivolous and empty-headed simply because of my
    nobility."

    The pain from her attack eased to a tolerable level, so I joined her
    along the wall. "Calling those you want help from 'this rabble' and
    'their kind'-"

    "I know," she interjected, a quirky smile creasing her lips. "That was
    horrible of me, I know that now. I've learned that I can aid those in
    need without beating my head against the wall. Getting rid of that
    slavery ring working from the Copper Coronet, for example. I still
    shiver at the idea of using children that way. Ugh." Her shoulders
    shook and I offered her comfort with my left hand on her knee.

    We sat in silence for a long time, each of us thinking. "Who's the
    chatelaine of the keep? You or Delcia?"

    Nalia tapped her chin with a knuckle. "I suppose I am, as heir." A
    spark lit up her eyes. "Yet Aunty continues to be in charge. The major-
    domo defers the housekeeper to her, not me." She pushed herself onto
    her feet and dusted off her skirts. "I think it's time she and I had a
    long talk. Thank you." She leaned down and planted a sensual kiss on my
    mouth.

    "Do you want me to come with you?" I asked and accepted her help to
    stand. My stomach hurt from her blows as I righted myself, the muscles
    knotting up.

    She shook her head. "No. This is something I've got to do alone."


    As I sat in the hallway, I thought, 'Damn, she packs a wallop.' I
    applauded the brilliance of combining the spell and a physical assault.
    Made me wonder who taught her how to lay a man low. Glaicas, probably,
    or maybe her dad. I guess it doesn't matter now. My problem was what to
    do about my disintegrated door.

    Using the wall for support, I levered my body to a standing position
    and hobbled forward. There, sitting quite innocently on the floor, was
    a tiny pile of dust. I swirled it around with my toes and let it mingle
    with the other, normal, household dust. Best thing to do would be to
    pack up my things and move to another bedroom. There were only two
    empty ones on the second floor: one next to the library and the other
    through a series of secret doors. I picked the one by the library, as
    it was also closest to the stairwell. I shouldered my knapsack and
    headed down the corridor to my new room.

    The air chilled me. A fire became my number one priority; I dropped my
    bag on the floor inside the door and returned to my old room. I used
    the tools surrounding the fireplace to snaffle a few burning coals and
    carried them tenderly. Into their new home they went and I was glad the
    staff was so diligent about keeping the rooms ready for guests. The
    preset kindling sparked alight and a fresh fire grew. I prodded until
    satisfied it would continue burning. As I left for another load, Nalia
    dashed into me. I caught her in my arms, "Whoa, what's the hurry?" I
    asked, holding her close.

    "I wanted to make certain you were all right," she answered. Her
    fingers stroked the open collar of my shirt.

    "Feeling guilty?"

    "Amazingly, no."

    I tipped her chin up. "Good. You shouldn't. I did deserve it." The
    underside of her chin felt delicious beneath my finger. "Although you
    could apologize by way of helping move my things. You did destroy a
    perfectly good door."

    She eased her arms onto my shoulders and laced her fingers in my hair.
    "I've decided to go to Waterdeep with you."

    'Nice evasion,' I thought. "You do know I'm going there to get the hell
    away from you?"

    "Pish-posh, dear heart. Let me help you." She leaned up and dropped a
    peck on my nose, then removed herself from my grasp. I trailed after
    her toward my former sleeping quarters. Together, we traded my meager
    possessions from one place to another. I carried my weapons, not
    wanting an axe in the groin in case she got upset again. She fluffed
    the pillows on the bed and turned down the blankets. "You're sheet's
    will be cold. I can ring for a maid to bring a bed warmer."

    "Oh, I thought that's what you were here for," I quipped and dragged my
    shirt over my head, letting it fall to the floor. Her face colored, but
    she remained looking at me. I strolled across the room to her and slid
    my right hand along her waist to her hip. We kissed long and sloppily,
    stoking the flames of lust we shared.

    {REST SCREEN}

    Finis
     
  2. The Kilted Crusader

    The Kilted Crusader The Famous Last words "Hey guys, watch THIS!" Veteran

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    That was really good, kuemper! I really enjoyed that, good job! :thumb:
     
  3. Elwithral Irenicus Gems: 20/31
    Latest gem: Garnet


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    Great story Kuemper! I was so into it, and I shut out the rest of the world!

    10 / 10
     
  4. Hard Blunt Stone of Fury Gems: 5/31
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    Great Story Kuemper. I loved it. I'll rate it "2 Cool 4 The World" aka 10/10
     
  5. kuemper Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone


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    Thanks guys.
     
  6. Silverstar Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone


    Veteran

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    I never knew that you were such a good writer Kuemper. Amazing, so addictive, and so realistic with all those details, I look forward to read more of yours!
     
  7. Saber

    Saber A revolution without dancing is not worth having! Veteran

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    Woah, that was great! :eek: !

    Great detail, not overloaded (like LotR), but enough to make beautiful images... that is something my writing is lacking at this moment (I'm trying :bad: )

    But you kept it lighthearted as well. I found it difficult to turn away :)
     
  8. kuemper Gems: 31/31
    Latest gem: Rogue Stone


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    More kudos. :yum: Thanks.
     
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