If I ever did this to my mum...

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I wouldn't be here today.



From an early, early age my mum taught me to respect her and what she expected of me. If I ever stepped too far out of line, I'd get a good crack and never do it again. I remember once putting a stone through next doors greenhouse. I got the trashing of my life for that. Our mam also once smacked me with a Mars Bar that she'd just gotten out of the fridge (i.e. making it rock hard) when I was giving her lip in front of one of my mates, thinking I was being big and clever. Didn't give her any attitude for a good long while after that. And then next time I did, I thought I could run off down the street away from her. She caught me by the scruff of the neck, dragged me back home and gave me a good hiding. It was all I deserved for the chew I was giving her.

I'm no parent, but she's terrible. She's let herself get into a slanging match with her child and hasn't got any control. Her main crime isn't that she hit him, more that she brought him up in a way that allowed him to emotionally manipulate her like that. He's the boss here completely, and that's wrong. What that kid needs is a good old fashioned hiding. If me, my brother or sister behaved like that my parents would make sure we never did again. My mum put the fear of god into me at an early age.

[snip]

[Warning pending. -Tal]

 

I'm no parent, and so I havent quite decided whether I agree with smacking.

But, I do think, if you dont discipline your kids, however you do it, you are committing them to fate about as bad as if you physically abused them. I'd far rather suffer from slight guilt about administering a smack now and then see my child end up in prison, or generally become a thug. Discipline, and self discipline, is necessary to succeed in life, and parents who dont teach that to their kids are lazy and useless.

I'm against excessive discipline - I hate seeing kids who have been over disciplined and coddled to the extent that they have no spirit - but I think I hate yobs and thugs even more.

[No need to quote entire posts, especially when they're right above your own. -Tal]

 

What a little jerk...

 

Well, I can't actually see the video in any intelligable manner, since I have dial-up and the thing only seems to buffer little pieces at a time, but I think I get the gist of what's going on.

This kind of thing is absolutely terrible, but unfortunately quite common. Dr. Spock and others of his generation taught a whole group of parents that they can figure this stuff out on their own, feel their way through parenting, and that being your child's best friend is more important than being his/her parent (Dr. Spock only taught some of this, I think). This lead to a large portion of a generation being raised in a terrible way and not learning how to be parents themselves. What we see now is the result of these children growing up and trying to parent without any clue how. This seems to result in three extremes: either abusive parents who beat their children horribly, permissive parents who think kids should be let to do whatever they want and coddled to, or irresponsable parents who think kids are a burden and not a responsability. The last seems to be the most common and results in parents who let kids get away with all kinds of hell until it bothers them personally, and then they blow up.

 

The Bible said: Honour thy Mother and thy Father that thy days shall be long upon the Earth.

Bill Cosby translates for us: [we] brought you into this world, [we] can take you out and make another one that looks just like you.

BA: You're right. My mother would have came down hard on me then turned me over to my father after that. There is no excuse for that. The Mother should have given him a heavy spanking, and if some activist doesn't like it, they can have the kid. If the court did that, you'd see a lot fewer activists...

 

I like the way this became some big political "avtivist" bashing session. I still have yet to "beat on" either of my girls. That's right, not a single "spanking." I like consider myself my girls' "best friend AND their parent," although that distinction is shared with my wife.

Last school year, my six year old and one other student, were chosen and awarded the two best behaved children in the entire school for the year. The two of them got to have lunch with the principal. Not bad for a child that's never been spanked. My advice to those of you who have not yet had children of your own, but still have the urge to beat on something: Buy a nice set of drums; they are a lot more fun to beat on.

 

Well that video was certainly a good does of birth control - thanks BA...

I was spanked on a regular basis as was all my siblings by my dad when we got out of control. My mom would twist our ears, but I never remember her her swating us. If/when we have kids, I'm not really sure what I'll end up doing, but a good swat on the butt is never out of the question for something really bad.

 

I think bad parenting has been around for as long as humanity. It is nice to see that so many of you advocate the use of physical force and violence to control small children.

My mother stuck with mental and verbal abuse which I am sure I will as well. There is nothing more efficient and damaging for a child than sending it on a guilt trip. Oh yeah, take that little punk, disapointing me! Now I do not love you anymore!

 

Thank you Chandos for being the voice of sense and reason. Hitting children is a poor substitute for good parenting, and I find it somewhat disgusting that you all seem to think it's a great idea.

As for the video - I can't watch it due to dial-up - but I doubt there's enough information there to draw your grand conclusions that hitting the kid earlier would have solved everything.

 

NOG, the Dr. Spock books came out in the late 1940s. The first people to have been raised this way were the baby boomers. The baby boomers are no longer the group of people who are having children today. Kids being born today are the grandchlidren of the first people who were raised using Dr. Spock books, not the children. So, I'm not sure I agree with your assessment, because it should have been people born in the 70s and 80s who behaved this way towards their parents if what you believe were true.

Holy over-simplification Batman! Granted, I've only been a parent for about a year now, but even from my limited experience in it, I can assure you there are far more than three different types of parents in the world! Oh, and I bet a lot of parents today would fall into one of those three categories even if they were not raised using Dr. Spock's advice.

 

I was cracked when I did something seriously wrong. It did me no harm.

Different kids require different kinds of parenting. Some need a smack, others don't. I, and loads of other kids like me, needed a good clip round the earhole when they go out of line. The kid in the video would definitely benefit from a little lesson the family heirachy, and a red ear for a for few minutes. Talking to him doesn't do it. Some children are like that.

 

Well, I don’t have kids, but from what I’ve observed from watching the families of friends who do, the keys to good discipline without spanking are consistency and holding your ground. Be consistent in what you are disciplining them for, and if they start whining, don’t cave in. Smacking them might be tempting (and effective in the short term), but isn’t necessarily the best way.

Of course, like I said, I don't have children *, so what the heck do I know?

* Other than the surrogate kids on SP

 

All I'm seeing is a big white space, so I can't comment on the video itself.

The thing everyone needs to remember is that every child is different, every parent is different, and every family dynamic is different. I was not spanked often because the threat of one or the guilt trip technique (though not so far as to tell me they didn't love me) was enough for me. My brothers, on the other hand, were defiant little buggers, and Mom used to spank them good and hard. No hand-wringing liberal can tell me she didn't love my brothers just as much as she loved me. I don't care what the "statistics" say, I know a lot of people who got a swat when they needed it as a kid who turned out just find. IMHO the government should focus of more serious parental failings than spankings (things like drug usage, sexual abuse, etc. More on this in a later post)

By the same token, to look at a situation and say "that kid needs a good spanking" is also just as ignorant and ill-informed because the observer in the mall doesn't know the kid, the parent, or what went on earlier in the day. The most that can be said is "that kid could use some discipline!"

Someone mentioned following through, and I think that's the key in all forms of parenting. If you say "touch your brother one more time and I'll send you to your room", them you had damn well better follow through the next time he touches his brother. If you don't, you're in for a lot of headaches and possibly a spanking you deliver out of anger than one you deliver out of a desire to demonstrate to the child that there are consequences for their actions. I taught high school for 8 years (and will go back one day, God willing) and I can tell you that the kids that had the most problems behaviourally were the ones who were clearly raised in "consequence free environments."

 

That sounds pretty threatening!

Must admit I had to use wikipedia to find out who Bill Cosby actually is.

Well yes, I'm sure we would. That alone does not make it a good idea though.

Agreed.

I'm not entirely sure how you've managed to make this the fault of those evil liberals. In my confusion, I can only applaud your dedication. Even if it is dedication to laying blame at their feet yet again.

 

Ragusa has the Americans, I have the Bushies!

I just notice that in the last couple of decades a lot of people (many of whom have no kids) feel very free in dispensing judgement on parents who correct their children in public. This flies in the face of traditional thought, that people should respect the role of a parent -- or the teacher who stands in loco parentis.

The loss of the ability to spank or strap a child in schools may be lauded by some, but I see it a a factor (NOT the only factor, mind you) of the breakdown of civil society that many urban centres in Western cultures are facing. I lay the blame on liberal thought (similar to that earlier disparaged as coming from Dr. Spock) that says we daren't discipline our kids, we should love them and make excuse after excuse after excuse for their bad behaviour. From this liberal, weak-willed, handwringing stupidity, we have kids who freely tell teachers to "F-Off" and they face no consequences because we wouldn't want to hurt the child's delicate self-esteem. It's a crock. And this sort of thing has permeated all of society, not just the hand-wringing liberals. I'm of the firm belief that if George Bush Sr. had disciplined his son a little better, Shrub wouldn't be such a dork -- he'd be used to facing consequences and wouldn't do stupid things that require said consequences (though sadly he isn't facing them now.) How's THAT for tying disparate hobby-horses into one thread!

Bottom line, a traditional child-rearing technique that incorporates strong discipline AND love for the child is IMHO the best way to rear decent kids. I see modern liberal thought as a direct attack on that traditional child reaging method.

 

If some teacher ever "strapped" my son, they wouild need to have one HELL of an explanation. No way I would stand for that.

 

Yes, they used to do that while small children turned up at clinics and hospitals with bumps, bruises, burns and broken bones. Finally, people started standing up for the rights for children. What we discovered is that a lot of parents don't know much about "parenting," and that on-the-job training turned out to be a painful experience for the little ones - sometimes a deadly one.

Almost everything that happens in public is now on tape - somewhere. I'm not sure how you treat your own children in public, LDK, (nor is it my place to pass judgment on how you raise your children), but remember that cameras tend to record the objective actions of people. Anyone who has worked with the public tries not to pass judgment on any situation occuring between familes, especially parents who fight between themselves in public, or in front of their children. But it's amazing how quickly people change what they are doing when you remind that that they are "on camera."