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Hate ... A Global Problem

Discussion in 'Alley of Dangerous Angles' started by T2Bruno, Aug 20, 2013.

  1. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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  2. dmc

    dmc Speak softly and carry a big briefcase Staff Member Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    Yikes. Pretty vicious, but I doubt that it actually breaks laws (I don't think it would even here in California), but it sure breaks social mores and the like. Sheesh.
     
  3. Blackthorne TA

    Blackthorne TA Master in his Own Mind Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    What are "whaling" noises? "Thar she blows!" or maybe "Man the harpoons!"? ;)
     
  4. Darion

    Darion Resident Dissident Veteran BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Hard to tell if this is really hate or simply some kind of bigoted world-view.
    Tasteless non the less.
     
  5. Paracelsi

    Paracelsi Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Nasal vowel sounds. I've lived with autistic children and an autistic uncle.

    Lack of empathy more than hate looks like, apparently the writer didn't even take the time to think through her "suggestions". And she's supposedly a mother too. That makes it worse, think of the damage she could be doing to her own children.
     
  6. Shoshino

    Shoshino Irritant Veteran

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    Don't know about the local laws but in the UK I don't think any prosecutor would have a problem arguing that this breaks the malicious communications act.
     
  7. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    I always thought that repeat use of more than 3 exclamation or question marks in sentences was a sure sign of a diseased mind...

    [​IMG]

    Anyway, yea, hate... hardly a new thing. Anything that stands out of the "normal" crowd is usually hated at least by a certain percentage of people. Social norms dictate that we try our best not to show it, but in reality there aren't that many people who feel comfortable around mentally handicapped people no matter what they say. The only surprising bit here is that the woman printed the letter out and delivered it by hand instead of e-mailing it.

    You'll find plenty of the same kind of sentiment on the Internet by the truckload, spewing the same kind of hatred at all kinds of more vulnerable social groups, from the autistic to homosexuals and even overweight people. One good thing about anonymous Internet posts is that you get to read about how people really feel as opposed to how good of an act they put up in real life. In RL people don't express their feelings so openly because they know that there'd likely be repercussions for it, but online, all the bile comes out without any sugar-coating, so it can be very insightful if you're interested in the human nature.

    We've come a long way in the last 50 or so years, but how much of it is an act vs. true sentiment is a million dollar question.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2013
  8. Blades of Vanatar

    Blades of Vanatar Vanatar will rise again Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Holy crap, that takes a pair of brass to deliver that type of message. Can you say Bee-otch! That was a whole lot of pent up frustration coming out. She probably needs to get laid.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2013
  9. Gaear

    Gaear ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful

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    NO!!!!!! IT JUST GETS THE MESSAGE ACROSS MORE BETTERLY!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. LKD Gems: 31/31
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    Devil's advocate here -- yes this writer is a coward and exceedlingly cruel. But how does one get legitimate concerns across to these people? Say ANYTHING and you are told that you need to "be more compassionate and understanding." Well, everyone has limits. Perhaps the noises this kid makes are truly disruptive, and having them occur on a regular basis is more than some in the neighbourhood can take.

    I get that the others in the neighbourhood need to stop and consider the situation of the family dealing with the autistic kid, but on the flip side, the family needs to show some consideration for the others in the neighbourhood. They are likely not the only ones dealing with difficult situations.

    I guess my bottom line is that having a "differently abled" child is not a license to be inconsiderate to your neighbours, no matter how much we want to deify those dealing with such an extreme trial.
     
  11. Chandos the Red

    Chandos the Red This Wheel's on Fire

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    Those are considered to be good things, generally speaking, rather than being ugly and stupid, like the person who wrote that mess.....
     
  12. LKD Gems: 31/31
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    As you saw in my post, I was not referring to the crap that coward wrote, but rather to people trying to have an adult conversation with some of the parents of these differently abled kids. Instead of listening to reasonable, politely articulated concerns that ask for some consideration, those being decent enough to address the matter civilly are met with shrill platitudes and "poor me" complaining, not to mention accusations of bigotry.

    In order for societal interactions to function smoothly and fairly, BOTH sides need to listen to and show respect for the other side. I have seen some of these parents in my time who are just bats**t crazy and clearly have no concern about anyone but themselves. They expect people to bend over backwards for them but won't lift a finger to to anything for anyone else.

    Being a parent of a differently abled kid does not mean you are always right or that other people don't have any rights. There have to be limits and concessions made by everyone.
     
  13. Chandos the Red

    Chandos the Red This Wheel's on Fire

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    LKD: Just read through the posts on this thread. Many were "understanding" of our situation and I would like to thank them for that understanding, AND I mean that as a parent of such a child of which you have so much to say.

    You are ignorant of what it is like for many of these parents. If they ask for a little more understanding, it is because they learn to give so much of it, just to able to cope. You really don't know.and your comments demonstrate that.

    Sometimes it is better to just be "polite and reasonable" and not sound like, well....like that woman....
     
  14. dmc

    dmc Speak softly and carry a big briefcase Staff Member Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    Certainly, none of us knows exactly what is going on in that particular neighborhood. However, I think that letter clues us in to a couple of things. First, it is unlikely that the person that wrote it ever approached the grandmother with any issues. That letter screams out about someone's pent-up feeling boiling over. So, I surmise that this letter is the first that the mother that wrote it has ever communicated on this subject.

    You therefore cannot go with the idea that there was an "adult" conversation that was blown off leading to this letter. Sure, the kid might be distracting and might be annoying, etc., but in any enlightened society, annoyance and distraction do not lead to writing a letter like that and the cowardly and anonymous delivery which was obviously designed to cause hurt and anxiety and not "solve" any problem.

    Fortunately, none of my relatives have been autistic such that my only experience with the issue personally is by way of a couple of very highly functioning and only very slightly autistic kids of friends that are nothing like this poor child. Even in these cases, it's obvious that something is not quite "standard" in the way they interact with others, but any decent person makes allowances and is as kind and understanding as they would hope others would be if it were their kid.

    I guaranty you that the grandmother and everyone else in that poor child's life wishes that there was no autism, but the days of locking up a poor unfortunate autistic kid in his room, a basement, or anything like that are long past (at least in the Western world) so this mother had better think long and hard about how she behaves and worry less about someone else's child.

    It is, quite frankly, disgusting.
     
  15. pplr Gems: 18/31
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    I sympathize more with the grandmother.

    Taking on a kid with special needs may involve more than asking society for more sympathy. I'm not a parent (yet I hope) but I expect there are even more things that have to be done if or when someone becomes a parent for a special needs child.
     
  16. Drew

    Drew Arrogant, contemptible, and obnoxious Adored Veteran

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    Oy. I have an autistic son. A few years ago an elderly man loudly make several incredibly rude comments about my son, and about my parenting abilities, when we were at a restaurant. Upset and embarrassed, my wife started to escort my son out of the restaurant. As she left, I let the man know that I was sorry that my son's noise had disturbed his dining experience. I let him know that my son was autistic, and so he really didn't know any better. I asked him what his excuse was. He didn't have an answer, but was wise enough to keep his mouth shut when I brought my wife and son back in to finish their dinner. The man's dining companions were mortified, incidentally.

    By the way, you need to be more compassionate and understanding. Show that forum post to one of the autism resource instructors at your school and ask what they have to say about it. Assuming the teacher doesn't deck you on principle, you'll get quite an earful. If you listen, you may even learn something about what you can and cannot reasonably expect to make happen with an autistic child.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2013
  17. Shoshino

    Shoshino Irritant Veteran

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    I have had past experience with dealing with special needs, these are vunerable people who need our help and support, I flag them up when they come into the club early and make sure the staff know to keep an eye on them, even in a room with 200 people in it, we know where they are and make sure their night goes witout any problems from less empathic people.
     
  18. LKD Gems: 31/31
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    I know very well what differently abled children are or are not capable of doing or understanding. The parents have a responsibility to take that into account when dealing with the outside world.

    We had a similar thread a while back. I'm not stupid nor lacking in compassion. I just believe that the parents of such kids need to understand that although their child is the centre of the universe to them, the child does not occupy that position in the minds of others. Yes, the child has rights, but so do other people just trying to live their lives as well. I advocate respectful dialogue between all cognizant parties involved, NOT anonymous letters as was in this thread.
     
  19. Drew

    Drew Arrogant, contemptible, and obnoxious Adored Veteran

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    ...then perhaps you chose an unfortunate time to play devil's advocate, since doing so implied that you felt that a parent of a mentally handicapped is stepping outside of what is reasonable when allowing said child to play in his/her own back yard. Interjecting that point in this thread, in this context, was neither sensitive, compassionate, or relevant to this situation.

    This thread was about a very specific response a bigoted adult who should know better had to a very specific set of circumstances. Your complaint isn't really applicable. There are lots of parents who fail to give their children adequate limits, or who ask for unreasonable accommodations at forums not equipped to provide them. If you want to complain about such a parent making such a request, then you should be specific. Otherwise, you're just being *****y. :)
     
  20. Chandos the Red

    Chandos the Red This Wheel's on Fire

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    This rant is so general, it's meanlngless. We all have some sort of "responsibilities" to someone, even you do, I'm sure. Obviously the parents of this woman in question failed their responsibilities to raise her with a degree of understanding, or even common sense, for that matter. So, they turned that stupid woman loose on the rest of the world. But that's life in the free world, isn't it?

    I guess you just can't get away from annoying people, even when they are supposed to be "normal." Personally, I find it much easier to be tolerant and understanding of all kinds of children, rather than I do some annoying adults, who really should know far better.
     
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