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Gopher's GSCE Creative Writing

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Errol, Apr 6, 2003.

  1. Errol Gems: 23/31
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    [​IMG] Hmmm, after much debate, I've decided to post this in the hope that no-one laughs or copies it. I've written these poems for my GSCE English grade, (albeit at different times, not all in a week, heh). Well, here goes nothing:


    The Boy Torn

    Those words that were said, so heartless and cruel
    They shot that poor boy, like an old worn out mule
    Crushing his hopes with words of defeat
    Molesting his world with a smile of defeat

    You enjoyed what you got, every bloody little bit
    You tore open wounds that took time to heal
    Taking his confidence with the web that you knit
    Never even caring what that boy would feel

    Now broken and crying; he’s curled in a ball
    Weeping from agony; closed to it all
    Can’t understand; mind lies so dead
    Mumbling thoughts; things through his head

    Tearing and breaking, that’s your kinda game
    Sparks they fly, when you shout out his name

    Innocence taken; his life now all gone
    Worn out and broken; you laugh loud and long
    If only you know what he’d offered the race
    But you broke that poor boy see the look on his face

    It splashed on the ground, from the fear that you forced
    That last sparkling tear from the pain that you caused
    No sound lasts as long
    Yet you still sing your song

    Now broken and crying the boy passes on
    No one notices gifts that have gone
    Tattered from Torture, no more to share
    The Boy became Torn; ‘cause no one was there


    Deep in a Corner

    Deep in a corner
    The boy was sitting
    Tears down his cheeks
    Eyes not quite fitting.

    Wondering if you
    Did ever have a heart?
    Wondering if you
    Ever understood his art?

    His poetic verses
    Never easy to write
    (Especially when he)
    Sitting there at night:

    Jotted down those words
    That you’d never understand
    You never wanted him
    To ever join a band

    All he ever wanted,
    Was for you just to see…
    That deep in that corner,
    Sat a boy just like me!


    Sunrise

    I am chained here, shying from the night:
    flailing through this darkened void,
    heart so gaunt and pale.

    This life so severed,
    by a blackened abyss,
    given away in favour
    of your all-encompassing conquering,
    desire, endurance;

    yet I wish for
    your warmth so alive.


    Just another dang Vampire Wannabe

    It is a night of dark desire, a song of sorrow,
    wolves vent their cry. The thirsting one
    rises.

    Wisps of death shrouds her brooding form -
    her fine-carved figure - a lurking dread.

    Her ebon hair cascades over
    fragile milk-white shoulders, and her
    full crimson lips part slightly, to taste the
    vitae streaming from the
    pale flesh beneath
    her collar.

    Now a night of shared vitality,
    I smile vaguely at my
    imagined vanity marred.

    Thinking the dark night,
    Surely, to
    be one of the silliest so far.


    Feelings are Gone

    Time had hit an all time low,
    I thought it time for me to go.
    Discarded throughout your life,
    Dicing with Misery and Strife.
    Reflect your Ignorance,
    Defy Significance,
    Feelings I don’t want to show.

    Thoughts wander by your eyes,
    Smirking while your lover dies.
    Deceitful yearning of your soul,
    Your eyes obsidian; a heart of coal.
    Out of your reach,
    You still pray and preach,
    Searing pain from the lies.

    My essence is fading from you,
    The descending lulling true.
    My depressing demeanor,
    Running from you, more.
    Hating your gut,
    You sick, hacked sl*t,
    I really don’t care what you do.

    The angels may sing their song,
    Yet my feelings for you are gone.


    Right, that's it. I also have an Introduction accompanied with a 2 page Commentary/Analysis on them, which is something we had to do, and which I'm not going to post (it get's a bit personal). And before you ask; No I'm not slitting my wrists, No I don't drink blood, No i'm not wearing black nail varnish and No I haven't just been dumped. :rolleyes:

    Constructive critisism is very much appreciated, thanks. Enjoy.
     
  2. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] I think they are very good, for what my view is worth.

    May I ask what the theme was to the poems?
     
  3. Errol Gems: 23/31
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    [​IMG] There was no theme. Just whatever you felt at the time. As long as they came together in a way. These are all in chronological order, and if you follow they tell a story if you like. About me.

    The Analysis is Here if you wish to read it. Click Cancel if it asks for password.

    [ April 07, 2003, 00:32: Message edited by: Gopher ]
     
  4. Dorion Blackstar Gems: 7/31
    Latest gem: Tchazar


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    Well written stuff Gopher.IF you have plans to publish I suggest you check the copywrite laws in your country and protect them as soon as you can.

    Once it is on the net its easy for someone else to steal your ideas.

    Protect you creations today.
     
  5. Uytuun Gems: 25/31
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    Very impressive, Goph! :thumb:

    I like them a lot, especially the first one.

    You can see that you've actually thought about these poems. They're certainly not cliché.
     
  6. vix+ren Gems: 1/31
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    hey hun, wer reading them again cuz we love them and u :) and u ant bn online lately :cry:
    the concert wz really gd btw, hope we tlk 2 u soon n yus copyright is a vvvvvvv gd idea!!!!
    keep @ it ur a great writer :D
    love u lots! :wave:
     
  7. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] Now THAT was a random post

    Gopher - Is the English GCSE hard?
     
  8. Errol Gems: 23/31
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    [​IMG] Umm...reasonably. But if there is one piece of advice, that I could give to anyone out there taking them, it's Do Your Coursework When You Get It - And Do It Well!.

    Seriously, the last thing you want to do is get to your GSCE Exams and find out that crap piece of work you did a year ago counts for 10% of your grade. I've learnt my lesson :rolleyes:

    And hell, that was random! :eek:
     
  9. Eze Gems: 24/31
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    Those are cool.
     
  10. vix+ren Gems: 1/31
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    hun thats nt random u no us! :p hope u do get them copyrighted soon :S email us plz? my english oral went well, u know the 1 we had 2 do in a lesson cuz the romeo n juliet didnt cover criteria (warning 2 all english students, ur teacher might say a few days b4 moderation that a piece of coursework is useless cuz of this :( )
    gt ur txt. get online :) love u lots xx
     
  11. Dalveen

    Dalveen Rimmer gone Bald Veteran

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    vix+ren will you please start speaking english instead of the "txt"jibberish as all the post seem rather random and hard to understand unless you put some thought into it and i really cant be bothered thinking just now as ive done too much will studying for exams.

    oh by the way, gopher very good poems.
     
  12. vix+ren Gems: 1/31
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    Yeh we know we know, really bad habits it's not like we do it on purpose. Also very difficult to concentrate on anything except babbling to people when you've got english teachers like ours... :( oh gopher, please get in touch something seems like it's up and this seems to be the only place you pay attention to us?
    sorry to complain
    love ren xx
     
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