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Funny TV quotes

Discussion in 'Sensorium' started by Felinoid, Mar 5, 2006.

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  1. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    Remove all ads!
    [​IMG] This isn't a guessing game, or anything like that. I just thought it might be nice to accumulate a lot of good funny quotes from various TV shows. I'll get it started with something I just heard on an old episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; this one never ceases to amuse me for some reason. :shake:
    :shake:

    EDIT: Another one from the same episode.
    :hahaerr:

    [ March 05, 2006, 07:11: Message edited by: Felinoid ]
     
    Felinoid, Mar 5, 2006
    #1
  2. Jhonka

    Jhonka This is the face of Justice Veteran

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    Jhonka, Mar 5, 2006
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  3. Susipaisti

    Susipaisti Maybe if I just sleep... Veteran

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    From Seinfeld, when Kramer does a Joe Friday impression of a kind, to retrieve a stolen statue...he forces the culprit to stay put while he rummages the place:

     
    Susipaisti, Mar 6, 2006
    #3
  4. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    From Frazier,

    Niles (covered head to toe with shaving creme): I feel all hot and foamy.
     
    T2Bruno, Mar 6, 2006
    #4

  5. nior Gems: 24/31
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    From Perfect Strangers (...yeah, ages ago)

    Man at Driving School: Read aloud the smallest line you can see.
    Balky: "Made in Taiwan" and some guy named "Reg Pat"
     
    nior, Mar 7, 2006
    #5
  6. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    Just saw this on an old episode of "7 Rules". The dad (played by an actor who's dead now; John Reiner, IIRC) and his daughter are talking about her going steady with this guy who's in the Navy, and an old-fashioned virgin saving himself for marriage, and oddly enough he argues that she shouldn't be held down yet. :nuts: He finally convinces her, then makes this slip:
    :shake:

    Yeah, you probably had to see the whole sequence, but I could barely remember that much. Now c'mon, y'all, show me up with a better quote! ;)
     
    Felinoid, Mar 11, 2006
    #6

  7. kuemper Gems: 31/31
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    John Ritter, Feli. :)

    Anything in Buffy and Angel. Here's a speech from Firefly: Our Mrs. Reynolds:

    Jayne: See, I married me a powerful ugly creature.
    Mal (dressed as a woman in homespun): How can you say that? How can you shame me in front of new people?
    Jayne: If I could make you prettier, I would.
    Mal: :eek: You are not the man I met a year ago.

    (Jayne and Mal draw guns)

    Mal: Now think real hard. You been bird-doggin' this township a while now. They wouldn't mind a corpse of you. You can luxuriate in a nice jail cell...but if your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty, floral bonnet I will end you.
     
    kuemper, Mar 11, 2006
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  8. Vukodlak Gems: 22/31
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    From Blackadder:

    Messenger: I bring news my Lord.
    King: What is it?
    Messenger: Lord Wessex is dead.
    King: Ah-- This news is not so good.
    Messenger: Pardon, My Lord?
    King: I like it not. Bring me some other news.
    Messenger: Pardon, My Lord?
    King: I LIKE NOT THIS NEWS! BRING ME SOME OTHER NEWS!!!
    Messenger: Yes, My Lord!

    (meesenger leaves and then walks straight back in)

    Messenger: I bring news my Lord.
    King: What is it?
    Messenger: Lord Wessex is NOT dead.
    King: Ah, good news! Let there be joy and celebration, let jubilation reign!
     
    Vukodlak, Mar 11, 2006
    #8
  9. Susipaisti

    Susipaisti Maybe if I just sleep... Veteran

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    -Xander from Buffy
     
    Susipaisti, Mar 11, 2006
    #9
  10. The Kilted Crusader

    The Kilted Crusader The Famous Last words "Hey guys, watch THIS!" Veteran

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    Xander from Buffy

    "I laugh in the face of danger... then I hide until it goes away."
     
    The Kilted Crusader, Mar 11, 2006
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  11. Lost Meme Gems: 8/31
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    Worf from Star Trek: the Next Generation (the one where Q puts them in a Robin Hood scenario)

    "Sir I protest! I am NOT a merry man!"

    From Blackadder

    "Baldrick, eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish minions, would be a picnic compared to five minutes with me, and this pencil"
     
    Lost Meme, Mar 11, 2006
    #11
  12. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    More DS9. This one's from one of my favorite episodes, called "Explorers".
    :shake:

    And of course drunk people are funny too...
    :hahaerr: Eh, I guess that's not nearly as funny in print as it was to watch. But it was funny when I thought of it! :roll:
     
    Felinoid, Mar 12, 2006
    #12
  13. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    From Reno 911:

    One guy says to the other, "Get your ass out of my face!" and the other guy, without missing a beat, comes back with, "Get your face out of my ass!" :lol:

    EDIT:
    The Simpsons have quite a few gems as well.
    :shake:

    :mommy:

    [ March 18, 2006, 01:39: Message edited by: Felinoid ]
     
    Felinoid, Mar 17, 2006
    #13
  14. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    Just read something in one of the old RBs that reminded me of this one from Scrubs:

    :lol: Come on, now, people, let's hear some more before I have to give this thread up for dead!
     
    Felinoid, Mar 19, 2006
    #14

  15. Laiwethel Gems: 23/31
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    A couple of Firefly quotes...

    From the Pilot "Serenity":

    And from "Heart of Gold":

     
    Laiwethel, Mar 26, 2006
    #15
  16. The Kilted Crusader

    The Kilted Crusader The Famous Last words "Hey guys, watch THIS!" Veteran

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    Jayne! He's my hero ;)

    "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get to whip you with until you agree that I'm in command!"

    plus,

    *sees Inara yake another woman to her shuttle*

    "I'll be in my bunk."
     
    The Kilted Crusader, Mar 27, 2006
    #16
  17. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    From one of the best DS9 episodes ever, "Far Beyond the Stars":
     
    Felinoid, Mar 27, 2006
    #17

  18. Laiwethel Gems: 23/31
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    Jayne is awesome. :thumb: :grin:

     
    Laiwethel, Mar 28, 2006
    #18

  19. kuemper Gems: 31/31
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    Jayne snooping through Simon's diary:

    "Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill people and never seen again. It was the best day ever."

    :lol: :hahaerr:
     
    kuemper, Mar 28, 2006
    #19
  20. Felinoid

    Felinoid Who did the what now?

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    More DS9. This one is from Chimera, the episode where another changeling called Laaz shows up.
    Ask a stupid question... :shake:
     
    Felinoid, Apr 3, 2006
    #20
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