Funniest quotes and answer choices

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Ok. As the title said, funniest quotes and answer choices. For those who do answer choices say who you are responding to and what you're responding to.
My first one is when you decline an upgraded item with Cespenar, he says: "Fine, fine. Haves it your way. Cespenar haves no life anyway. Not even cut imp girlfriend."

 

My choice would have to be the dialogue w/ the Spectator in Sendai's enclave, this is paraphrased.

PC: What are you going to do?
Spectator: Find the nearest Hive check out the ladies.What about you?
PC: The same.

 

Ah, gotta love the Spectator. I thoroughly enjoyed Cespenar's "de-dum-dum...I'se a lookin' through stuffs that ain'ts mine!...dum-de-de."

Actually, that's way funnier out loud.

 

My all time favorite conversation is between viconia and imoen.

Viconia says to imoen that she should be more grateful to me for saving her life and her soul etc... and says she should be my pleasure slave... i won't spoil too much but it's funny as hell.

 

Korgan: Huh - I thought ye flyin' elves hatched yer young from eggs! Ach - 'tis too bad... I fancied an omelet this morning!

 

Jan vs Sarevok...

Jan: You know, Binky, I've been considering this plan of yours that you had with the Iron Throne and all that. Interesting ideas... but flawed.

Sarevok: Binky? You had best not be addressing me, gnome.

Jan: For instance, whose idea was it to put impurities into the iron? Sounds like the lame idea of some yes-man underling who didn't know when to quit. No doubt you had him flogged.

Sarevok: I will not have my past commented upon by the likes of you, churl. Quiet yourself, lest you experience worse than mere flogging.

Jan: Speaking of a good flog, I'm brought to mind of poor Auntie Sara. She, too, had a master plan to take over the Sword Coast, you know. Although hers was considerably less dramatic and involved the use of some tasty recipes for turnip pie and some mind-altering herbs that Auntie Sara had bought from a rather disreputable Turmish mage.

Sarevok: Are you listening to *nothing* I say?! Desist or suffer the consequences!

Jan: Do you think she would listen to us? You can trust a Turmish mage about as far as you can kick him... and even then it's not a bad idea to carry a good thumping stick. But, alas, Auntie Sara just cackled in her most villain-like way and was determined to carry on with her plan to hypnotize the Sword Coast. Alas, she was completely undone by an over-the-top exposition she gave to a spy that she had captured...and who subsequently escaped, of course, before she could have him killed. It's what villains do, I understand, when they're not busy defiling iron.

Sarevok: I will not be mocked, gnome! This is your last warning!

Jan: Of course, they say that Duke Eltan had already had a bit of Auntie's pie and enjoyed it immensely. Rather than become hypnotized, he just became rather pleasantly obsessed with silken undergarments. This, of course, led to the first Great Underwear Shortage. It's also known as the Three-Year Wedgie Drought, but that's another story completely.

Sarevok: AUUUUGHHH!! How maddening! How you can put up with such impudence, <CHARNAME>!!

 

Sarevok's annoyance with Minsc when Boo is staring at him, featuring the ending snort "This is still hell, isn't it?"
And Imoen hitting on Keldorn is pretty hysterical also...

 

How about Aerie asking Mazzy if she can ever become a true paladin?

Paraphrased...

Mazzy: do you really think that the gods would be silly enough to put out a third edition?

 

LOL!!!!!! These are all funny you people! Also, I think I will one more. When Balthazaar is talking to you in his throne room, he says: blah,blah, blah...The sword coast rivers will flow with blood.
Answer choice: I like the sound of that.

 

I like it when Caspenar's looking through my stuff and he says he's running out of recipies soon, and then says this great line about Martha Stuart:

"Needs to find Martha soon. She round Hell somewhere I thinks."

Oh it's true, it's damn true

 

I cant believe noone have mentioned the Rune Hammer quote here,
Cespenar says, I once dropped rune hammer on masters foot, bounce round cusses for weeks he did, was a very bad week for cespenar.

 

Actually IronEagle, it is:
Once Bhaal dropped hammer on foot. Stopped and swear he did. Kicked me all the way to Whats-that-place. Very bad week that was.

 

well considering i saw it 2 weeks ago, well about, id say i didnt do so bad at "almost" remembering it.

 

I have to say, the funniest lines were by the spectator. In both BG2 and TOB, his lines were the ones that made me laugh out loud. The entire dialogue from BG2 had me rolling I never played an with the different combinations of characters, but Korgan had one line in BG2 about the night and how it was for stalking and wenching or something...that was pretty funny too...anyone remember it in its entirety?

 

Well it was not a funny dialogue and not meant to be either but I really liked it when in the Asylum you speak to a woman who saw beyond planes, said that she sees a man talking to a pillar of skulls, I really liked this since just before I started BG2 I was playing Planescape: Torment like mad...So here is a funny dialogue from Torment/

Fall From Grace: Morte who were you actually?
Morte: Me? Oh, I was the head of Vecna...

(I know some of you are going to accuse me of being irrelevant but I just wanted to share this with you guys

 

OK, this is from SoA, but, it is funny.

This is the part where you go to Umar Hills, and after the big chat with the mayor, you go west to the people with the chickens. You kill a chicken and the lady will say (paraphrased) "Go away and leave my chickens alone!"

Then the PC says: "Stay out of this lady! This is between me...and the CHICKENS!"

It might not be funny to you but I fell out of my chair laughing so hard I was almost crying! It is alot funnier when you do it though.

[This message has been edited by Firkraag Nizzlet (edited July 12, 2001).]

 

The one where Korgan is talking about what you're going to do after you become a god. I forget how it goes but . . .

 

SPOILER AHEAD
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For me, other than the great dialogue with the Spectator, when Aerie gives birth, some of the lines are just classic.

Viconia : So the wingless one gives birth? I thought she was just getting fat.

and, paraphrasing, Korgan wishing the avarial hatched eggs instead of live births because he was looking forward to an omelette.

 

but clearly the funniest thing in the game is the encounter with the formerly petrified adventurers in Abzigal's lair..

that is the funniest thing I have ever seen in a game.

 

I almost forgot the petrified adventurers! Good ol Nanoc, Tim, and the thief(the name is escaping me right now). The sad thing is I used to do a lot of the PnP role-playing and it was so sad to recall that I was once that way too.

paraphrasing some:
"I found a dagger. And Tim found a scroll of Identify, so in a few days, he can tell me about my dagger"