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Faith in Eternity (fantasy)

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Sapiryl, Oct 16, 2001.

  1. Sapiryl Gems: 7/31
    Latest gem: Tchazar


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    Clouds of steam billowed from noses and mouths. The silence of the stepp broken only by the scraping of metal and leather, the crunch of snow, or the frightened braying of a horse. A slight breeze tickled the standards, and canvas snapped straight to reveal a bronze eagle, and a red dragon. A single shout echoed down the line, and spears were unslung and brought to the ready. Fifty thousand spear bearers assembled into a rough line, skin shivering into goose pimples. They wore no armor, for it would only slow them down, and no furs or cloaks were to be worn either, nothing to be looted by the Mongols.

    Another shout echoed, and the individual squares formed, horses prancing nervously as the sudden movements left open holes through which a charge could strike. Across the open ground, the Mongols stiffened, and shields were brought to bear. These soldiers were clothed differently, as no soldier of Ming would loot a Mongol body. Furs and iron armor abounded here, talismans of strengh and courage clinked softly as movements caused bone to shift. Bracers and gauntlets of Chinese flesh and teeth coated wrists and hands, the skulls of soldiers hung from the banners. The Mongols were fearless, but it helped to have some form of emotional armor as well.

    At the sound of a drum, spears lowered, and the Mongols gathered into a line, shields forming a wall of iron, wood, and bone. The Chinese footmen marched across the open field, sandalled feet crunching on frozen tundra grass and ice. No shields were sported here, and faces were set in determined frowns. A gap of thirty yards were left open to the horsemen, and on the hills to either flank, bowmen nocked arrows and wet fletchings. Along the line, a shaft snapped, and the master at arms beat the ignorant archer senseless, he had left his arrows out of their sheaths, and they had frozen in the night, now the only purpose they would serve would be as fire starters.

    [This message has been edited by Sapiryl (edited October 16, 2001).]
     
  2. Shadowcouncil Gems: 29/31
    Latest gem: Glittering Beljuril


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    Your description of the whole environment is very detailed and great. I think that is very important, to get a clear picture in your mind. Please post some more, this is great til now!
     
  3. Sapiryl Gems: 7/31
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    At the near frenzied cadence of the excited drummers, the spear bearers sprinted foreward, a roar echoing from every mouth. The archers and horsemen jogged foreward, a thirty yard gap separating foot soldiers from the more elite troops. Javelins were drawn from sheaths hanging to the sides of saddles and bow strings were drawn taut. Archers could not hit an exact target at this range while moving, but precision was not their goal.

    Several hundred yards behind the ranks of foot soldiers, Zheng Liang watched impassively. Shaking his head sadly, he wheeled his horse and cantered back towards the outpost at Datong.

    Staff members trailed after the General, startled looks passing between them. Liang muttered to himself as the cries of battle raged behind him.

    "My lord? Why have we..."
    "We have left the field of battle in order to admit defeat."

    Two of his under officers flashed each other startled looks.

    "Defeat my lord? The battle has only been joined!"
    "You do not, and will not comprehend until you dabble in treason."
     
  4. Dark Xan Gems: 8/31
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    you are goood very detailed and i can almost see the picture of the scene

    [This message has been edited by Dark Xan (edited October 18, 2001).]
     
  5. Sapiryl Gems: 7/31
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    Again, a look flashed between the two junior officers. Treason was not only unspeakable, it was also punishable by death. For the general himself to admit treason was almost as unbelievable as the Emporer himself to admit that he was actually a woman.

    "Treason. I have never committed an act of this sort, but to dabble in it...ah, then you see what the Emporer himself cannot. It is treason to believe that we will lose this battle because it is treason to believe that the Emporer has bad judgement. As a leader of men, as a general! I have the responsibility to lead my men into battle and to victory! I have not achieved this, and so, I cannot continue being Emporer Ming's general."

    Slightly relieved, yet still exacerbated, Liang's staff followed him through the swirls of snow. Liang's steed shivered in the cold, and he reached down to assure the animal of his safety. Liang had worked his entire life to achieve this title, this rank. Beginning as a foot soldier in the first rebellion army against the Shang, he had worked himself up through the ranks, first making it to the general staff, and eventually to the title he held now. He had won countless victories and destroyed hundreds of legions of troops. He was the most feared soldier in the East, and he had felt very secure in his title when this war had begun. He was the General of His Majesty's army!

    Yet here he was, trotting along to his inexhorable death at the hands of his own sword. Battle after battle, he had succeeded in driving the Mongols north, and yet here he had begun to falter. First the skirmish at Hohhoh and then the ambush at Taiyuan. The Mongols were learning, they had begun to realize what his tactics were, and how to use them against him. Suddenly he stopped, eyes wide and mouth agape. He wheeled his horse around to view the slope of the hill which he had just traversed. Barely a molehill on the otherwise flawless stepp, it would save his army, and his life. His mouth slowly closed and curled into a near sinister smile.

    "Bring up the Cho-Ko Nu."

    Not questioning this order, one of Liang's lieutenants raced toward the large pavilion in the distance while the general bagan issuing orders to his other staff members.
     
  6. Tiamat Gems: 17/31
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    Not bad so far. Please provide a short description for your character....
     
  7. Capstone Gems: 16/31
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    [​IMG] Hush, Tiamat, this is a story. Let it unfold as the writer envisions it.

    EDIT: Incredible writing Sapiryl. :cool:

    [This message has been edited by Capstone (edited October 20, 2001).]
     
  8. Big B Gems: 27/31
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    [​IMG] Yes, it is unfolding quite well. I like your style Sapiryl. And here is some background info on the character, taken from Sapiryl's third installment:

    "Liang had worked his entire life to achieve this title, this rank. Beginning as a foot soldier in the first rebellion army against the Shang, he had worked himself up through the ranks, first making it to the general staff, and eventually to the title he held now. He had won countless victories and destroyed hundreds of legions of troops. He was the most feared soldier in the East, and he had felt very secure in his title when this war had begun. He was the General of His Majesty's army!"
     
  9. Sapiryl Gems: 7/31
    Latest gem: Tchazar


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    *Thanks folks

    Lord Chi stared intently into the flames held within the bronze brazier. He had had no word from his general or any of his attendants since dawn, and the lack of information disturbed him. Next to him, a tall dark figure shifted, the hood of his robe tilting towards the pavilion door flap. Impatiently, Chi motioned for his guards to take positions near the door, and within moments, the sound of hoofbeats sounded through the still air. The flap was pulled back, and a shivering lieutenant fell to his knees in front of his lord.

    "My Lord Chi! General Liang sends word that the battle will be won, but only with the help of Your battle legions!"

    Chi's eyebrow twitched. This was unfortunate news. If Chi's own legions were required to help in the battle raging to the north, then the battle could not be going well.

    "Very well. I will send my Cho-Ko Nu...and Yao Mo."

    The dark figure at Chi's side stepped forward and bowed slightly. The lieutenant's eyes widened at this news. He began to object, but a quick motion from his liege sent him again to the floor, bowing low enough to lick the floor. A deep chuckling echoed from within the hood of the figure, and Yao Mo clapped his hands twice. Immediately, two guards sprang from their posts to fetch weapons. A sling was thrown over Yao Mo's shoulder, a broadsword hanging in the front, and a glaive in the back. Riding boots were secured to his feet, and a helm brought to cover his face.

    "Very well," the deep voice echoed, "I will follow my master's commands. Yet I request that my brethren follow me."

    Chi waved his consent, and once again, the pavilion became empty. Chi motioned for a decanter of sweet wine, and a guard fetched the concoction. Hoof beats receded from the pavilion, and the Chi lifted his cup to his lips. Again, he glared at the brazier of flames in front of him. Something was not right with all of this. Yao Mo had never requested anything of him until now, and never had he mentioned a filial relationship with his other followers.

    Drinking deeply, Chi motioned for his own armor and weapons to be brought. He would witness this personally, and maybe learn who his allies really were. The thought made him tremble, did he have that many doubts? Was he that insecure about his situation? Lord Ming would not be pleased if he showed weakness in either his personal actions, or the actions of his soldiers. Perhaps he should bring all his soldiers forward, simply to prove that the might of Xi'an would not be forgotten, and that Xi'an's descendants still honored China as he had built it. Lord Chi turned to his guards.

    "Encourage the Cho-Ko Nu to put on some speed, and tell the other regiments to move forward. We are going to cruch this Mongolian dog now and forever!"
     
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