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Acceptable ages

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Dice, Aug 19, 2013.

  1. Dice

    Dice ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    Ok I have a new problem in the nature of this male, female interaction thing.

    I have three main guys I'm interested in now. There is significant chemistry with them all although one of them is still very shy around me. I'm not in a hurry to get involved with anyone but it might be interesting. My problem is that they are all significantly younger than me.

    I'm not comfortable with being considered a "cougar" but I am very youthful looking at 43. Moreso I am a free thinker and not so bound by society. One of the men interested in me is a mature 25. The other two are 30. There are also some older ones lurking around but I'm not really interested in them.

    So express your opinions for me :p
     
  2. Blackthorne TA

    Blackthorne TA Master in his Own Mind Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    If it's not serious, who cares how old they are?
     
  3. Darion

    Darion Resident Dissident Veteran BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    I agree.
    Past a certain age, age becomes meaningless. ;)

    As long as you can 'click' with one of those it's all cool.
     
  4. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Asking what's "acceptable" today really is rather meaningless. We're living in the most open "anything goes" era in the history of the Western world. The only one you really have to justify your choice to is yourself.

    Naturally, if you're looking for a long-term relationship the age gap is likely going to be problematic if your guy doesn't share enough (or even any) of your interests. If it's just a fling though, like BTA said, who cares...
     
  5. Silvery

    Silvery I won't pretend to be your friend coz I'm just not ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    Isn't the general guide 'Half your age plus 7'?
     
  6. Morgoroth

    Morgoroth Just because I happen to have tentacles, it doesn'

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    For me, anything between 20 and 35 probably goes. But I often prefer women who are younger than me and I believe I would have difficulties in adjusting to older women. Anyhow I think the main problem with an age gap is regarding children. Younger men may not initially think about getting children and might even say they don't want any but that may very well change and in the long run an older woman who might already have children and does not want any more can be problematic. The same obviously goes vice versa but I think men are generally more reluctant to get children at a young age than women (at least that seems to be the case among my friends).

    Of course the issue of children only becomes a problem if the relationship enters a more serious stage, but it's important to be honest about the expectations quite early on.
     
  7. Gaear

    Gaear ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful

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    I know a few people who have or have had the 40-25 spread thing. Doesn't seem like such a big deal to me (and the law doesn't have an opinion on it, unlike say 15 year olds ;), so ...)

    Look at it this way - if you found the love of your life at 43 in a 25 year old, would you stop and say "Wait! I can't do this because it might not be 'acceptable'! Goodbye, dreams of happiness!"? I doubt it. :D
     
  8. Blades of Vanatar

    Blades of Vanatar Vanatar will rise again Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Nope. Think Hugh Hefner....
     
  9. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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  10. Gaear

    Gaear ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful

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    ^ Maybe traditionally, but I suspect that in recent times there's been a dramatic upturn, much like the increased incidence seen in female bisexuality. (There are some studies and articles in the wiki link that cite that.)

    If it's just a matter of female sexual liberation, I guess you can't really criticize that.
     
  11. Darion

    Darion Resident Dissident Veteran BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    I was told once the formula goes something like this: Actual age +/- 10 years.
    ;)

    Of course, If you're some filthy rich old man...the no rules apply. :D
     
  12. Dice

    Dice ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    Hmm well that would rule out the Russian guy. Although there can't be any harm in flirting with him.

    Regarding men usually liking younger woman I always believed that to be so however I seem to have a lot of younger men who give me those vibes. Also some older men.

    Regarding children and different stages in life I agree. I'm kind of interested in having a fling but I'm cautious about relationships. I know a significantly younger man will be looking for a mate to have children and follow the natural process of life. I figure if I let someone into my life for a while then they can get to know my perspective.
     
  13. LKD Gems: 31/31
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    I prefer older women myself. Always have. They are less insecure and more realistic. My wife is 6 years older than I am, and I nearly married a woman 15 years my elder.
    As long as there is mutual respect and enjoyment, do what you want, Dice, and anyone with negative opinions is ignorable.
     
    Dice likes this.
  14. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    square root of his age minus the cubed root of her age in an exponential ... WTF?

    Who was ever dumb enough to put dating in a math equation? The only equation I know is Age > 18 = Okay.
     
    LKD likes this.
  15. henkie

    henkie Hammertime Resourceful Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    Well, if you're both ok with it, how can age be an obstacle?

    For long term relationships there might be some different perspectives resulting from the different ages, though the older you the both of you are, the less important it becomes.

    I wouldn't assume most younger guys would be looking to find a mate and have kids, though. At least the kids part.
     
  16. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    No man should have kids until he's at least 34....
     
  17. LKD Gems: 31/31
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    Why the **** didn't you tell me that 20 years ago, T2Bruno?
     
  18. henkie

    henkie Hammertime Resourceful Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    Interestingly, if for males kids are best after 34, and for females kids are best before 35 (or perhaps a few years more), that also gives a bracket of age differences.

    Math!

    :p
     
  19. RockbadgerX Gems: 2/31
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    My two cents

    Having worked in a counselling centre (at reception), I can give something to consider:

    A) Relationships with a large age bracket some sometimes work very well as often the older person brings a maturity and sensibility, whilst the younger person often brings an energy or vibe. This can balance quite well.

    B) Just like an aircraft the most dangerous times are take-off and landing. The rest is usually quite smooth. In other words the biggest hassles you will find is if the relationship and one person is extremely young, or at the other end the relationship has gone on for ages and one person is quite old. Yes, yes, Anna Nicole Smith, Hugh Hefner, etc... but if I was an old crawdaddy and Anna wanted to hang around me, then I would have said yes too!
     
  20. Gafonator Gems: 1/31
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    Take the one who has killed more skeletons bare handed then others.
     
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